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Hurt (Part 1 of 3)

Everyday we are faced with circumstances that challenge us for better or for worse. We often can’t do much about how others treat us, but we can choose how we recover from hurtful situations. You’ve probably heard the phrase, “hurt people hurt people”. This is definitely a truth evident in everyday life. It’s the scenario of the boss yells at the husband, so he comes home and takes out his frustration at his wife, who in turn sharply corrects her child, who then goes and kicks the dog. :-) When we get hurt by another person or a specific situation, the typical default of our souls is to hurt someone else.

When we get hurt it can effect many areas of our lives. If there is a physical injury it can take it’s toll on us emotionally and mentally just as easily as an emotional can effect us physically. There are some obvious signs of a hurt as there is with an injury and then there are some subtle ways that hurt creeps in that may go unrecognized for years or for the remainder of our lives. My hope in writing these entries this week is that you’d recognize hurt in your life, how it’s negatively effected you and those around you, and how to have hope in Jesus to be healed.

I remember my brother Michael breaking his leg while playing soccer when he was 15 years old. He was a fast kid and typically played center forward which meant he was in the goalie’s territory often. One day a goalie dove for the ball as Michael went to kick it. Michael’s shin collided with the goalie’s knee cap in a perfect way to break the top portion of his shin even though he had the proper shin guards on. The snap was heard throughout the soccer field and the aftermath was not pretty (I’ll spare details for those of you like me who are already gritting your teeth). I remember after his cast was set how he had to live downstairs for several weeks to recover. It was frustrating to feel hindered from the sport he loved and from living day to day life in his bedroom upstairs. However, following the doctor’s orders precicely and resting, Michael healed and went on to play many more soccer games.

It was unfortunate that Michael got hurt that day. As his big sister, I hurt for him and wished it hadn’t of happened. Sometimes in our lives, we’re running full speed and when we collide with things that hurt us, we are prevented from reaching our “goal” so to speak. This often requires a season of healing and recovery, but does not mean that we can’t get back into the game. I watched my brother get back into the game with more tenacity and skill after his injury than before. What the enemy intends for our lives by causing hurt can become our greatest opportunities for victory when we turn to Jesus.

Specifically when other people hurt us even beginning at a young age, there can be serious emotional and mental pain that ensues. These wounds can cause issues of rejection, insecurities, trust issues, identity complexes, unhealthy emotional behaviors, and give us a false filter to perceive reality. Often we aren’t aware of the effects of hurt until we compensate in areas, form bad habits or unhealthy cycles. These effects can continue to be inflicted as we age and cause great detriment to our relationships, jobs and overall health.

I want to tell you today that hurt in your life can become a healed and whole place through Jesus. The areas where you’ve been wounded don’t have to become places where you hurt others. You may have to go through some trying healing seasons, but you too can get back in the game and score some goals again! I’m praying for you and hope you know how deeply Jesus loves you and wants your wounds to be healed. If anyone knows the depth of hurt you’ve experienced, it’s Jesus Christ and he’s the best coach to have when healing ;-)

Wednesday’s blog will emphasize how our hurts can effect others and Friday’s blog will address how healed people can heal people.

Is God Enough (Part 3 of 3)

In pondering,”Is God enough?”, I realized this can practically apply to my everyday life. I’m currently attempting to plan for moving overseas and trying to figure out the difference of what we have to have, what we need and what we want. The funny thing is that around this time last year, all I had was literally a twin size mattress (thank you co-worker because I had been on a deflated blow up mattress), a dresser and an ironing board with a chair that served as my desk. I’m serious! I was working so much that I wasn’t really home and if I was, I was so exhausted that I just lay on my floor (that I cleaned with a borrowed vacuum cleaner) or on my bed (that I owned for 20something days). I was content broiling my gluten free english muffins, corn tortillas and the like in my oven since I didn’t have a toaster. Did I mention the bright teal counter top, warped moldy floors, secret door in my bedroom that led to a staircase and 3 other apartments, and the fact that there was no electrical socket in the bathroom so I did my hair sitting on the floor? Because those were some highlights as well ;) HA! Some of you might know where I am referring to, and the funny thing was that I was content. I survived. My hair looked nice everyday and I ate, somewhat ;) Additionally there was a drum set inside of a wood shack directly outside my bedroom window. That was also quite entertaining. I like for there to be musical beats to my throbbing headaches. Kidding! All joking aside, it was one of the craziest seasons of my entire life, but when it came to being content in my little, yet highly overpriced apartment, I was just fine.

Things changed when Stephen and I got married and all of a sudden we were going to eat REAL meals. You know where there is more than carrots and hummus, turkey wraps, yogurt, and chips and salsa. What? If you’re single you eat like that too. I had 3 forks, 3 spoons and 2 knives from Wal-Mart that I had purchased and pretty much used them all everyday until they turned a copper color! Ewww! I had a couple of things like a vegetable peeler, and a couple pans to cook in that my parent’s graciously gave me for my birthday. Even though Stephen and I weren’t 20 year olds getting married, we literally had nothing especially when it came to the kitchen. I married a man who moved with 3 fifty pound suitcases to Africa….! I’ve never moved away from home with more than I could fit in my car, but still that weighs in over 150 pounds and might I argue that most of his stuff was natural supplements and work supplies. So here our lives merged and we were blessed with wedding gifts! Praise Him! Towels, more mixing bowls that I know what to do with, silverware that wasn’t turning copper and even a shower curtain! Genuine and deep thankfulness in my heart! So now I have these things. Yes they are necessary for a family and we use all of our kitchen cookware, storage containers etc on a weekly basis. However there was a time when I didn’t need it all. The crazy season was short and I knew I would move back home, so I survived with my makeshift wedding planning ironing board desk. Now, as we look to the future not knowing exactly where and when we’ll be in Africa, many variables are before me.

I am sharing this example because we’ve talked this week about how sometimes we are filled and distracted with other things in our lives. When sorting through my life I can ask the same questions of my packing process for Africa. What do I absolutely have to have in my life? These would include your basic food, shelter, clothing, love, and breath in your lungs. May I add my primary absolute need would be God. Without Him, I have nothing. The second level would be to ask; What do I need to have? These would be secondary things in our lives that maybe pertain to us personally. We needs tools to complete an education or perform our jobs. We need safe healthy relationships that bring life and encouragement. We need healthy bodies so we can be strong and accomplish our God-given destinies. Third, I would ask; What are things that I just want? Well, sometimes like tonight, I want to eat out something different and splurge on a gluten-free AMAZING coconut pineapple dessert!!! Do I absolutely have to have it to exist? No. Do I desire it and can I indulge? Yes.

In breaking these things down and truly weighing them in my heart, I see the vast difference between needing God to fill me and me filling my tummy with a dessert. Talk about start contrast! One is my entire life line through whom everything I absolutely need comes from and the other is beyond a secondary need even and is just a delightful addition to my day.

You see all of our primary needs are things that if properly sought after turn us to be dependent on God. He set up the freedom of choice where we get to choose Him. I love that we have options! A pet peeve of mine is when there are no options. I was frustrated last week with an airline booking because I’m emphatic about getting the best deal and couldn’t find a loop hole. I felt so pinned into absolute decisions and was frustrated at the lack of options. Stephen came to the rescue using some wisdom and opened up another far glorious option. Options give us freedom. God set before us the option to choose Him. I’ve written about this before, but He put before us the choice of choosing life or death (Genesis 2-3 and Deuteronomy 28). He was very clear on His thoughts and desires for our choices both in the garden and in His law. This is because He wanted perfect unbroken communion with us. Then God sent His son Jesus that we might choose His life for us that paid for our sins and transgressions on the cross. This choice still stands for everyone of us to make our lives come under His lordship and receive a reconciled relationship that is right with the Father. The last choice even beyond salvation is the acceptance of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Now I LOVE speaking on this aspect and the Trinity in general because it’s so important to our spiritual foundation, but message me if you need more details ;) To sum it up, we can receive the same Spirit into our bodies that is pure, undefiled and connected to God the Father and Jesus Christ the Son. Holy Spirit can dwell within us and speak to us fluently as we listen. This is why the Apostle Paul urges us to be filled with the Holy Spirit in Ephesians 5:18. In that verse the word filled indicated how the early church, the ones first to receive the Holy Spirit were inebriated with the Spirit. Men first accused them of being drunk with wine because the Spirit so overtook them. Most of these first men and women walked so closely with Jesus Himself, yet He was able present physically in one place at one time not within their spirits. Once they were filled with Holy Spirit, only then were they able to be fully fulfilled in Him more than anything else they could desire.

I’m sharing all of this to say that God has given us these choices that we might be filled and fulfilled in Him. When we turn our life over to Him and let go of our need to be in control of our lives, our need to have everything we want and don’t need, He is enough. Every season in life will look differently, and even if your ironing board is your desk, and you’re getting free drum lessons, God wants to bring you to a place where you’re content in Him. In every situation, if we let Him, He’s there to be our every need and point us to a healthy place in Him.

He is enough.

Wait! I did have a lamp in my living room that looked like the Eiffel Tower and a small desk lamp on my floor in my bedroom! Whew! Don’t want to forget those ;-)

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Is God Enough? (Part 2 of 3)

Part 1 of this blog I mentioned how there are right answers to questions, yet sometimes a separation with how we feel or comply with those answers. I know and believe that God is enough. But does all of me like my emotions, intellect and will know? If so, how is that belief system challenged to grow through seasons that are more trying than others?

I want to start today’s blog by emphasizing God’s original intent before going anywhere else. I keep owner’s manuals for things I may never need, solely because if I do have a question about a product, I can go to directly to the source that made it to find instruction. This is the same principle of why God gave us His word. Let me put to rest any confusion out there while I’m writing this; the whole entire Word of God is either true, or the entire thing is all false. I won’t preach a mini sermon on this as it’s off topic, but I believe in the Word of God as the absolute truth. Moving on with that in mind, God who was the only God, created man in the image of the Trinity (just a word for God, His Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit). They then created a female because God said it wasn’t good for man to be alone. There were plants and all living creatures that existed in the beginning. Later on when God gave His commandments to Moses in Exodus chapter 20, the 1st Commandment is, “You shall have no other gods above me.” When Jesus was on the Earth and asked what the greatest commandment was, He replied with, “Love the Lord, your God will all of your heart, with all of your soul and your mind”-Matthew 22:37. A shortly stated theological summary, God is enough. In Him and through Him, we can find all things.

In asking myself the question, “Is God enough?”, I’m not merely asking on a theological plane, but in a way that demands the desires in my heart to be examined with the truth of His word. I don’t merely want to know that He is enough, I want to experience it every day in every aspect of my life. The only way to do that is to know His word. When you know what the word says then you can begin to answer questions and motives in your heart. Is He enough when you are rejected? despised? afflicted? cheated? lied about? broken hearted? How can He fulfill your life when there’s financial debt, illness, desire for a spouse or baby, or a new home, or (fill in the blank)?

Since all things are found in God, I know that if I am serving anything with as much or more passion than I serve God, it’s a God-substitute. If I make anything or anyone else including my incredible husband my sole focus, it’s an idol and I am thrown off balance. When I find myself comparing my life to others, desiring opportunities, or relationships outside of God’s leading, I have to pause, and hit reset and go to God’s word. If I am solely trying to keep up with what someone else has or I am focused on what I don’t have, I am exhausting energy that I do have on things other than God.

So what are things that we use as idols? What are areas in your life that take up your energy in an unhealthy unbalanced way? No, I’m not referring to that project at work or the teething two year old ;) God is not an excuse card to get out of living life. Rather, He’s the empowerment for us to live fullness of life in Him and bring His love to the world. God is passionate about the world, not worldliness. He has freely given us His Spirit that we might be filled and fulfilled in Him not look to the world.

In conclusion for today, I’d like to address the thoughts that others have for your life. Sometimes, especially as a young adult there can be a lot of and very overwhelming voices that want to give you God’s perfect (ahem) their perfect plans for your life. There will be those who see your spiritual gifts and want to utilize them for their own gain often in times where our spiritual maturity can’t handle it. There will even be those who strive and contend with you out of the brokenness and envy of their own hearts. Some will suggest the PERFECT spouse for you…again an idea on how their plan for your life should go.

I want to encourage you that while we absolutely need wise and godly counsel in our lives, this should never trump the leadership of the Lord. He is the one who created you and fashioned every detail of your life for you to experience Him in. This scripture is quoted a lot, but Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” God has great thoughts and plans for you. Ones that involve the absolute best, even when things are trying. I think about both Stephen and I and the many relationships that were suggested to us. It wasn’t until his best friend who had never suggested a girl to him suggested me (after a semi embarrassing bawling episode on my behalf as he preached) that Stephen found his wife. Yes, someone else was used by God to make His plan known, but we always have to test things against what God said. We’re both so grateful that we sough the Lord, even through our dating to hear what He was saying over us. God is enough and His plans for us supersede everything we or anyone else would think or imagine over our lives.

The questions I want to leave you with today are 1. What other gods are you serving in your mind, thoughts, actions or attitudes? 2. What does the truth of God’s word say about the desires you feel are unfulfilled? When you find His will, you find His peace.

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Is God Enough? (Part 1 of 3)

This is certainly a more vulnerable blog for me to write. Honestly, I wouldn’t be writing it if it wasn’t something that I was thinking and asking myself a lot recently. I know the right answers to the questions I’m asking, but do I REALLY know? I guess we’ll find out in whatever comes out in my writings this week :-)

I’m a new wife, new missionary (to-be as I haven’t lived on the field yet) and definitely living a new life. Transition has been…my life for well over a year now. I counted up how many beds I’ve slept in in the past 18 months the other night when I couldn’t sleep. 42 to be exact. I just recounted for verification because the number seemed a little high even though I lived it! Through the different beds, I’ve often found sleep and sometimes found insomnia ha! Some beds were your basic hotel room, one was in the rainforest of Madagascar, and only 5 were in places I’d consider my residency and that’s because I’ve moved 6 times in that duration. Beds haven’t been the only new things I’ve encountered in this time and I’ve certainly been on my toes, edge of my seat, or whatever phrase you see fitting. During this time of adjusting to marriage while having some health issues, a car accident, and a random assortment of travel, I’ve tried to grab ahold of things that are stable. Sometimes this draws me to a healthy place like the word of God. Other times, it draws me to ask Google a bizillion questions (If only I had a dollar for every time…) or search around on Facebook. Now I’m grateful for Google and Facebook and I certainly will be more so I’m sure when I do land myself overseas, but they aren’t my source. It’s great to ask Google to look up addresses and answer my ever seeking question, but am I trying to fill a void of not asking the right source deep questions I have? Is my sometimes very strong desire for relationships and connecting with people face to face or on Facebook a sign that there’s a void in relationship with the One who can fill me?

These are merely questions I am asking. I’m not condemning myself for using the technology available to me and again I’m extremely thankful for them. It’s just that sometimes, if I slow down long enough to listen, I hear my heart crying out for more. I find myself in the midst of transitions asking, “Is God enough?”. In my spirit I know the truth, however my soul which is composed of my mind, will and emotions say otherwise. It’s one thing to know truth, it’s another thing to apply it. And amen for preaching to the choir ;-) It’s true though. It’s not that I even want what so and so has or do what so and so is doing. It’s just in moments, I am unsatisfied and it’s a testing place to ask myself if He really is enough. If He is enough, then why am I unhappy at times? If He is enough then why am I complaining? If there is fullness in Him, then why do feelings of envy and covetousness come up in my heart? If He is enough why is sickness present in my body?

I do know that He has been enough until this point in my life. David said in Psalm 37:25, “I have never seen the godly abandoned or their children begging for bread.” I’ve never begged for bread. Of course, not eating wheat and most grains now, I probably wouldn’t ask for bread anyways ;-) The point being once I said yes to this life giving, love sacrificing God, His Son Jesus and Holy Spirit, I’ve never lacked any good or necessary thing. They have been my source, my fulfillment and my delight, so long as my spirit seeks these things first. The moment my emotions and my ever so independent will take over, the ball is in my court. The downward spiral begins and my only rock and source of strength is to hit reset on my soul and let my spirit connect with it’s source of life again.

So is God really enough? Or do I need other things and people to fill me? If I lost everything, would He be enough? Am I that fulfilled in Him that I could let go of every desire I have and follow Him? Do I trust Him enough to leave my dreams in His hands and let Him refine me and give me His purified intended dreams?

The short and not simple by any means answer is yes He is enough. The questions I’m asking myself and encourage you to ask yourself this week are; 1. Am I truly content with Him being enough? 2. When/ if ever did I stop positioning myself to believe He is enough? 3. What else am I seeking fulfillment in? 4. And can those desires be met in Him?

Later in the week on Wednesday and Friday, we’ll explore what makes us desire fulfillment in other things and if we really can be satisfied in God alone. XO!

Lostness (Part 3 of 3)

The Lostness Around Us

My husband and I just returned from a walk around the block before I started writing this. On our walk, we discovered a small lost kitten that was hiding in someone’s yard. Now anyone who knows me well enough knows that I don’t like cats, but I can’t resist feeling compassionate when the cat was in this lost state. The second time around the block, the cat lay really low as if trying to blend in with the grass. This cat had no collar and seemingly was without hope. Then we turn the corner and spot one of our neighbor’s dogs running around in the street. This sight is not too uncommon as the dog’s name is “Smokey” and escapes out the front door as my neighbors take smoke breaks ;-) As I’m typing this I can hear a little girl yelling, “SMOKEY!!!!” outside my window. While this dog has a home, it’s continually in a state of being overlooked and running around as if lost. 

Today’s blog concludes the topic of lostness by addressing the lostness around us. Monday I referenced how in recent missions meetings, that it had been discussed that being lost was the absolute worse condition to die. That some would die poor and in disease, but could still leave this earth to spend eternity with the Father, His Son and the Holy Spirit. Lostness is the most important thing on God’s heart and the greatest hinderance from His kingdom coming further in power to overthrow darkness and sickness. He “desires that none should perish, but that all should come to repentance”, according to 2 Peter 3:9. We must be like Jesus and “be about His Father’s business”. How do we see and hear like Jesus? Especially in the midst of our busy lives?

Let’s face it, is easy to overlook opportunities to be compassionate. Lostness surrounds us, yet we must have ears to hear, eyes to see, and a mouth to speak the right words and act rightly. This is where we must look to Jesus. He said in John 14:10,”Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father in Me? The words that I speak to you I do not speak on My own authority; but the Father who dwells in Me does the works.” If the Son was fully dependent on the Father to be moved in all acts of righteousness, how dependent should we be? Jesus wasn’t just able to perform great miracles of healing the sick, raising the dead, and bringing salvation forth solely because He was the Son of God. He rested in His Father’s love and direction and yoked Himself to be obedient to the Spirit within Him. Likewise, we must rely on the Spirit to see lostness around us. 

Just as the cat tried to blend into it’s surroundings this evening, the co-worker in the office next to you might try to hide the abuse at home from you. When we feel lostness in our own lives, we tend to retreat and become immobile. This is where the fear of the enemy can paralyze us. When someone is separated from right standing with God, they tend to be at a stand still. They aren’t necessarily moving towards or away from Him. They are lost. This is where the truth of the word of God can come into action through our lives.

I addressed in Part 2 of his blog that we must filled and be continually filled with Holy Spirit in order to overcome the lostness in our own lives. This infilling enables us to see the lost around us. According to the Joshua Project, a non-profit that deal with unreached people groups around the world, 40% are still considered unreached. This doesn’t mean that the other 60% necessarily knows Jesus Christ as their Lord and savior. It just means that they have had adequate exposure to the gospel. This is scary if you consider that most of the United States would be termed “Christian” culture. Yet even here and in every city, there are people facing lostness and hurting. 

Of course it may seem easy for me, a missionary, to be so passionate to write about reaching the lost around us, but it’s not easy or convenient no matter your occupation. However, if we are a child of God, a joint heir with Jesus, we must fall in love with Their heart and it directly beats for people. 

I return to the quote I put on the 1st entry; “We know what it is to lose health and wealth and reputation, but what is the loss of all things compared with the loss of the soul?”-D. L. Moody.  With this, I challenge you to hear the whisper I heard a few days ago. To press into what Holy Spirit would be saying for this hour. He cares about the lostness in each of us. He cares about those who are separated from hIm eternally. We must let the pain of our own lostness drive us to be filled, so that we are “found” and that we might reach others with His great love. “Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is” (Ephesians 5:15-17)

God wants to continue to save the lostness in each of us. May we lose our lives in the shadow of the cross of Jesus to find everlasting life in Him. May all of our broken hearts caused by great loss be ever filled with the indwelling of Holy Spirit and may the lost come to know Him fully.

Lostness (Part 2 of 3)

The Lostness Within Us

Monday night I decided that I needed to unwind and watch a movie. My husband graciously suggested I watch “Love Comes Softly” while he cooked dinner for me. We had purchased this movie some months ago on sale at Mardel’s. It seemed right up my alley just from the title. I quickly scanned the description on the back and read how many minutes the movie was, 88, perfect! I popped in the DVD and sat down. 5 minutes into it, not the ending, but 5 minutes in I’m crying. This young couple is pioneering new land in “the West” and came upon their new settlement together. Mixed emotions fill them as they argue and celebrate. Then my husband, Stephen enters the room and asks me a question about our food, so I pause the movie and regain my composure. Then I say ,”If the husband dies, I’m turning this off!” Well within two minutes “tragedy” hits and I lose it! I’m not ruining the story for you because what I had overlooked on the cover was the explanation that “tragedy” hits this young couple and she meets someone else! So much for a relaxing family movie!
Why am I sharing this silly story? Because I’ve been praying and preparing my heart this week to speak on lostness and while this was a movie, my heart was in far too sensitive of a place to handle that storyline (especially as a newlywed who is to embark on new territory myself as a missionary). Loss that we feel in our individual lives can leave us with a lot of pain. Pain that is not dealt with properly can become toxic emotions that hurt us and those around us. When we suffer loss, we are grieving and reeling and it effects all that surrounds us. Ever loss we incur creates new emotions and belief systems that form how we act and react.
There is a precious family I know who lost two of their three daughters in tragic events. The oldest daughter, who was married, died in the same car accident their youngest daughter survived. When the policeman came to their house and informed them of the news, the father yelled, “JESUS IS STILL LORD!”!!! His immediate reaction in a moment of trauma was to proclaim the Lordship of Jesus over the situation. He didn’t think that through, but it was a result of years of a solid dependency in Christ through the far smaller “losses”. This response and testimony shook me. This family later on lost their middle daughter because she had a seizure in her sleep while away at school. I met this family a couple of years after both of these incidents and was so loved and accepted by them. I couldn’t believe how steadfast they were and how graciously they opened their home and discipled young adults. This was a family who learned to allow Jesus to heal them, fill them, and flow through their lives even when pain occurred.
There are real psychological and physicolgocial things that occur in a moment when you lose something. Even if it is as simple as misplacing an item like your phone or your wallet. The “fight or flight” mode that our bodies rush into immediately cause us to deplete certain hormones in our bodies. Amplify the response by losing sight of your child in a crowd or losing a large research paper as it suddenly disappears into the oblivion of your computer, and your body reacts strongly. When we experience loss, our bodies need to refuel and recharge. This is why it is so important to turn to the Lord in our suffering. Loss in our lives will always create a need to be filled and God desires that we be filled with the right things.
Heaven’s perspective on lostness starts in creation when God, the Father lost continual fellowship with man. Then He gave His son so that we wouldn’t be lost. The Son sacrificed His blameless life so that we wouldn’t be lost. The Holy Spirit was then poured out so that we could be filled and continually filled while on this earth. This “infilling” of the Spirit is to bring us to revelation of who the Father and the Son are and empower us to be victorious in this life. This does not mean that death and destruction won’t effect our lives, but it does mean in the face of loss, we can overcome and be filled. When we have hurt over a loss, that gives us an opportunity to know how great His love really is. Jesus said in John 4:23-24 says, “But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” This was affirmation that one day, we as lost people would know truth to worship God fully by. This is why worshipping Him can be so powerful! We can get lost in worshipping Him and receiving His love and restoration of all things lost.
 
Lostness strips away the superficiality of life so that you can truly find fulfillment in the fullness of God. I do not mean that God causes these losses in our lives, but we live in a fallen and broken world in which we are all really lost without Him. Until one recognizes their lostness, they can’t properly depend on His Lordship and embrace His fullness.
My prayer for you today would be that you would see the lostness in your life as an opportunity to turn to Jesus. That if you know you aren’t right with Him, you’d see a hope to the separation you feel from the love of God. If you are living for Him, I pray that through the hurt of the loss in your life that you could experience the fullness of how great His love really is.
If you didn’t read Part 1 of “Lostness” and my testimony, please scroll down. Friday will be on the Lostness around us.

Lostness (Part 1 of 3)

“We know what it is to lose health and wealth and reputation, but what is the loss of all things compared with the loss of the soul?” D. L. Moody
 
The other morning as I was being, you know super spiritual and curling my hair ;-), I was pondering a sad reality of a loss I suffered this past year. The pain of this loss has hit me in waves at times, but on this particular morning there was a full realization that the way things were will never be the same ever again. It was different than other relational losses I’ve encountered and somewhere in my mind I hadn’t realized the finality of the situation. As my thoughts settled in that morning, I began thinking about lostness. 
 
You see, I lost my cousin, Tess who was also my best friend to cancer when we were both 14 years old. I have felt the loss of a close friend before. I remember being in the first couple of months of my Freshman year of High School walking through the halls with a gaping wounded heart. I felt numb and the ability to cope let alone thrive was beyond me. I would sit in Algebra class and try to retain at least one principle of it’s foreign language ( X=Y+?!!!!!). This gap in my heart, this loss of close love drew me to the Cross in one way or another. It wasn’t immediate, but the wounds in my heart called out to be filled. As I went through this time, I began to value life differently. I wanted to live my life in such a way that people would be changed positively my life. I watched how my cousin had suffered for 7 years in her body, but she did so with joy and made a positive impact in many lives. I knew I could either satisfy myself in the desires of a typical teenager, or maybe, just maybe God had the fulfillment that I was needing. I had already prayed a “prayer of salvation” as a 6th grader and faithfully attending FCA. This may or may not have been because of the good looking older male athletes that were there each Wednesday morning ;-) but nonetheless, I came and desired the realness of God, but knew something still was missing. I ended up having beautiful encounter with the Spirit of God about two years later at 16 years old and made Jesus Christ the Lord of my life. I became a daughter of the Most High God and was exposed to His marvelous light and felt not just “saved” but a relationship! For me, this was the greatest restoration of the lostness in my heart from losing Tess.
 
When I was pondering lostness and my own scenario, I thought about how much it really hurts to suffer loss. No matter the situation, loss hurts. My thoughts were stopped as I felt Holy Spirit whisper to my heart that morning, “Imagine how broken I am over those who are still lost and don’t know me.” I broke. Not that my loss of relationships, health and other occurrences aren’t valid or aren’t losses. They are and they matter deeply to the heart of God. I just believe in this particular moment, God wanted to bring healing to my heart from this particular incident by showing me a higher perspective. In speaking this to my heart, I was able to connect the sorrow of lostness I was feeling to a glimpse of His heart for those lost in darkness and separated from Him.
 
Luke 19:10 says,”the Son of Man (Jesus) has come to seek and to save that which was lost.” The word lost here means perishing, destroyed fully or cut off entirely. When Jesus was sent to this earth, He came to bring those who were lost, without hope and completely living in darkness to the Father. He was to restore what had been stolen from God’s original intent for us and redeem us from death, Hell and destruction. You can’t “sort of” be found or “saved”. You are either a child of God with a surrendered life to Jesus, or you are lost and perishing outside of the intent of God for your life. The whole purpose of why Jesus came was lostness. If as Christians we are His followers, we should walk in the steps of Jesus and bring salvation to those who are lost.
In a recent missionary training, the topic of lostness came up from our Director of Africa Missions. He mentioned that the worst possible condition that anyone could die in was lostness. There will be those who die hungry. Those who will die naked or in disease. Yet there is no worse way to die than by being separated eternally from the Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. 
This week, I want to challenge you to ponder lostness. Today’s entry is just an introduction to this topic, but I pray that as the week unfolds you’ll receive healing in your lives and impact those around you.
Wednesday’s topic will be on lostness in us and Friday’s will be on the lostness around us.

*Magic Wand*

I’m sitting in Whole Foods in the midst of a Sunday afternoon insanity, yet I am thriving in this tranquility. A little girl just walked past me and was dressed up head to toe as Belle from “Beauty and the Beast”. ADORABLE! I watched her walk around in “la la land” while her mom dashed to and fro across the store. She walked past me on her way out the door and waved her magic wand over a box of sweets. She paused. Waved it again. Then, as only one in make believe world can do, she “bopped” the box with the magic wand. At this moment, the girl’s mother, several feet ahead of her had reached the exit door and called for her. Her perplexed face didn’t stop her from obeying her mom, so slowly she deserted the box of gummy stars and left the store.

As I sat here giggling to myself, I remembered how fun it was to dress up like a Princess and make believe when I was little. When I was three years old I had one request for a Christmas gift, a magic wand. At this point in life, I’d seen my fair share of fairy godmothers, pixie dust and Princesses who could have their way. When presented with my beautiful well thought out and diligently sought for wand on Christmas morning, I GLOWED! I knew that everything in the world would be alright! I began immediately trying to change who knows what into whatever my little mind imagined (and it was a wild imagination!). At this point in my life, my constant talking had turned into hundreds of imaginary friends. I pretended there was a whole kingdom (yes I’ve had counseling regarding this-kidding!). Needless to say, I had all the imagination needed to believe for this magic wand to work wonders! 
Imagine with me; this curly red-haired 3 year old filled with excitement quickly turn to disbelief and disappointment as the wand did nothing more than what plastic is capable of. Both of my parent’s hearts sank. They thought since I “Imagined” other things that I would also imagine things changing with this wand. As I argued that the wand must be broken, they instructed me to just pretend that it worked. ::Insert little Belle’s perplexed look here:: Why would I want a broken magic wand? I still have this wand today at my parent’s home (picture above) and it’s a sweet reminder of my childhood.
When I saw little Belle with her wand and remembered this story of my own life, I began thinking along the lines of child like faith and wonder. I thought of how Jesus encouraged us to believe the Father with faith like a child. Matthew 18:3 says, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.”  Jesus has given us His life in exchange for our sin. When we make Him Lord, we become new creations and have the opportunity to submit our lives to His Spirit. 
 
In Ephesians 6:17 as Paul instructs us to put on the armor of God, he ends the list with, “and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God”. Our armor includes a “Magic wand”!!!! :-) I don’t mean the  “magic” of a child’s imagination to have a horse or dinosaur appear, but we can have the power of the Spirit of God move through our lives. How silly would one looked dressed in FULL armor with a shield to defend oneself, but no offensive weapon. Thankfully God did not equip us to be ill fit in battle. He sent His word, His Son and His Spirit to equip us for every good work. When we use the word of God and the power behind it employed by the Holy Spirit, we can have personal victory and bring victory to other people’s lives!
 
Little Belle and I might have dreamed of fairy Princess lands with tons of candy and Prince Charming and beautiful horses, but the reality is we’ve been given access to a far greater kingdom. We have been given a wand that works, a wand that transforms and a wand that sets captives free.
 
My encouragement to you today, is to hold fast to your faith, build yourself up in the word of God, and allow Holy Spirit to have His way in and through your life. After all, when we are sons and daughters of God, we really are Princes and Princesses. 

What Are You Waiting For?

Everything these days is seemingly fast paced! Matter of fact, I am now in my second location of the day trying to acquire wi-fi so that I can write this while we have our air vents cleaned at our house. Frustration instantly set in whenever the internet server at my original place of choice didn’t work. So, here I am writing in a hurry due to time crunch for my next appointment. Hence, my topic of choice today—PATIENCE.
I know, I know, you got SO excited when I mentioned that word right?! :-) I’ve heard numerous people say that if you pray for more patience, don’t be surprised when you are given opportunities to be patient. Have you ever lost your cool in traffic because of course you end up behind the car doing 15 under the speed limit and you’re now going to be late?Regardless of if it was your fault that you’re running behind to begin with or not, this slower than molasses car is now the source of blame and *BOOM* impatience shows it’s ugly face.
People often say, “Patience is a virtue”. I can agree with that! I’ve seen those moms with multiple children who are all calm, collected and can carry on normal conversations with other adults while kindly discipling their children. My jaw drops and my hat salutes these type of women (and the patience ANY mom has on a given day). I aspire to be as calm as them one day which may or may not be induced by sedatives ;-) Joking aside, patience is something that is noticed in our lives when we are diligent to reveal it. 
I think of how patient people were during the great depression to stand in line for food hand outs. In a most devastating time of their lives, they were willing to pay the price of waiting to get what was necessary, their food. Sadly, I doubt that our society would stand in lines quite as patiently now. We’re used to our quick fix problems (like my husband fixing my computer in 4 minutes just now) and we often don’t like to wait for things that we really need. If we do, often our attitudes are very impatient. We’re all guilty of then ” But WHEN God?!” question. 
This is where James 1:4 articulates so wonderfully, “But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.” The work of patience is a fruit of the Holy Spirit according to Galatians 5 and is interchangeable for the word “long-suffering”. The actual Greek word, makrothymia, means, “properly, long-passion, i.e. waiting sufficient time before expressing anger”.  This type of patience is divine and can only come from God which is why patience is a fruit of the Spirit. The reason we need patience is not merely to make appointments on time, deal with difficult people and respond in kindness, but so we can receive the will of God for our lives. Only by the grace and empowerment of His Spirit will we be able to endure with true patience and have purpose in our waiting.
I was thinking of some friends this morning who went to Denver a few years ago to audition for American Idol. I lived in Colorado at the time and went to meet up with them. They shared their stories of waiting in lines for hours and hours only to not even make it past the first round of judges. They are both extremely talented singers and their hearts were devastated. They had been willing to travel and wait in ridiculously long lines just for a chance to audition for the show. This type of example to me shows that when it really comes down to it, we will wait for what really matters to us. BUT are we willing to wait for what matters to God?
Going back to the scripture in James, when patience (an empowerment of the character of God) has its perfect work, it matures us, completes us and leaves us lacking nothing. Nothing. What do you feel like you are lacking right now? What immaturities are glaring at you? What are you waiting for that you’ve yet to receive? Patience is the answer and its fruit will leave you lacking no good thing.
God has the perfect plan for your future in all ways. He will not leave you abandoned in a place where you don’t have what you need. You may not always have what you want, but that’s a check to keep your desires in Him. Keep diligently seeking Him, aligning your heart to His ways, and waiting on Him. I pray as you do, you’d be satisfied with the sweet taste of the fruit of patience.