On Monday, I discussed how hurts that we feel can effect many areas of our lives and form ways of thinking that aren’t always healthy or beneficial. One main area that our own hurt can cause negative effects in is our relationships. God has entrusted us with armor to defend and protect  His will and plan for our lives. This includes healing and wholeness in our lives and healthy relationships. When we wield these weapons to inflict pain instead of using them for their original intent, we are out of alignment with God’s will. We are not called to have unsafe relationships with people; we are called to be safe people who reflect Christ.

Several years ago I was placed in an awkward situation. There were things said about me that weren’t true that caused some unnecessary tension in a couple of relationships that were dear to me. In keeping my mouth shut and not defending myself, I thought I was doing the right thing. However, my heart was wounded that these friends would think something untrue and make a situation out of it that caused distance between us. I stubbornly defended my own case within my own heart and let my hurt grow. When one of these friends called me to share some exciting news one day, I verbally celebrated with them, but felt confusion in my heart. A few weeks went by and as I prayed one day, God decided to lovingly bring this scenario up. I pleaded how I had been “right” and didn’t have any ill feelings at all towards either of these friends. He countered my plea and said, “Your sin isn”t that you harbor unforgiveness. You were wrong in that you didn’t celebrate and bless what I’m doing in this friend.” Oh…(weight of conviction), Ok. I am not partnering with the Spirit of God and positioning myself to be used of him to celebrate this friend.

It was through this situation that God showed me the importance of the Elizabeth and Mary relationship. Elizabeth was the mother of John the Baptist, and was much older in years than young Mary. She had waited a long time for the promise of bearing a child. Through a miraculous encounter with the Lord, her husband Zechariah finds out that Elizabeth will conceive a son and that they are to name him John and that he will prepare the way of the Lord Jesus! Talk about a huge testimony! Elizabeth was going to bear a son to bring forth the promised Son of God-the Messiah they’d all cried out for! This was a very very big deal. Then along comes her younger cousin Mary to visit her one day. Upon meeting, Elizabeth’s womb jumps for joy at the knowledge of Mary’s child within. She then begins to bless Mary and her womb and instantly knows by the Spirit that what Mary is carrying is her Lord Jesus Christ. Here in a moment where selfishness could’ve taken over her, where her past disappointments and hurts could have taken an upper hand, Elizabeth’s spirit came shining through. She blessed Mary and in turn, Mary helped Elizabeth birth her promise.

When we allow potentially hurtful scenarios to turn into beautiful synergy with God’s heart, we can bring healing to others and receive healing in our own hearts. No relationship with another person will ever be perfect, but we can allow God’s desires for it to flourish as we’re intentional about seeing Him and keeping the right heart towards the other person.

Another biblical example of a relationship that God protected is found in the book of 1 Samuel between David and Jonathan. When the two first met, David had just taken on a battle of slaying the giant, Goliath (insert your favorite kid’s church memory here :-) ) and came to present the head to Saul, the reigning king and Jonathan’s father. Jonathan who had also been out fighting the Philistines, immediately took a love and understanding to David. He took off his armor and gave it to David. Later on when conflict arose between Saul and David and Saul sought David’s life, Jonathan remained faithful to his friend. Even when his own father grew angry, cursed him, and cast a spear at him, Jonathan didn’t react out of a place of hurt. Wow! Those closest to us often hurt us the deepest. When we can overcome those situations and treat others out of a place of peace and wholeness in the Lord, we receive healing from those who’ve hurt us. The bible doesn’t say that Jonathan wasn’t envious of David basically taking his inherited right as King, but if he had those feelings, he did not act on them. There were many reasons that Jonathan had to have ill will towards David, but instead of continuing in the footsteps of hurt and offense, he played a major role in God’s will for David’s life by keeping him alive.

It’s not that we’re expected to not have hurt feelings or unhealthy intentions. We are human and fall short all the time. However, as a son or daughter of God who’s made a decision to make Jesus the Lord of their life, we have to be intentional to let our spirit guide our actions towards other people. Instead of using our weapons to fight the real enemy, we often use our weapons to harm one another. This certainly hurts other people and also gives ground for our wounds to fester. Far too often we take what God has entrusted us with and harm other people. We allow our hurts to cause our swords to stab others or take entitlements and run over other people. Ouch!

I’ve faced this is very real ways as I’m sure that you have too. Take time to pray and allow God to bring up some scenarios where hurt in your life is currently or has wounded others in the past. Remember that He is a Father who loving corrects and rebukes us, that we might be healed and break hurt cycles. Don’t allow condemnation to continue or putting yourself in unhealthy and unsafe relationships. God’s desire is that you’d be an overcomer of all hurt and run to Him for healing!

Part 3 will conclude on Friday as we discuss how healed people can heal people.