One of my most favorite things in the world is fireflies. I caught a glimpse of a few last week when I was here in Springfield, Missouri and tonight I was reunited with their lovely sparkles.

Today had been a bit of a rough day and with my birthday coming up tomorrow, part of me was longing to be drawn away with the Lord. In the middle of conversation with my husband, I glanced out the window and notice fireflies making their way across the street. I ran and sat. Stillness engulfed me. All things slowed down for a moment. I felt the wind and the soft humidity hit my face and arms. I sighed. I prayed. And the air around me was filled with little flickering lights. I felt like a little girl and flashed back to summers as a child. Fireflies always come out around my birthday and only as dusk approaches can they be seen. I remember being little and chasing them full of joyful anticipation of where the next one might appear.

Suddenly I heard that still small and beautiful voice within say, “keep looking joyfully for my light in the midst of darkness”. Here I was heart heavy and was being reminded how beautiful God’s light really can be even in my darkest hour.

I’m not sure who I’m writing this for out there, but know that God, our loving Father who created the whole earth, stopped and planned out things like the stars and fireflies for us. That in the midst of darkness we would see a marvelous light. Jesus came to bear witness of that light to us, and sent His Holy Spirit to abide in us. May we continue to let our lights shine and capture the joy of a summer’s night of fireflies.

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit. (Psalms 51:12 NKJV)

But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; (I Peter 2:9 NKJV)

—BK

“Everything else is fading away only love remains.”-Jon Thurlow (worship song)

Listening to one of my favorite worship artists tonight and reflecting on a conversation with my husband over dinner led me to write about the love of God tonight.

1 Corinthians 13:13 says, “And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. “

There are a LOT of things I spend my time on. I tend to research everything. I have always been one to ask questions and inquire about things. My husband knows that there’s no conversation I love more than asking and being asked questions. Questions provoke me to think, evaluate my life, and make me find truth in midst of everyday trials.

Tonight while washing dishes with my opening quote resounding in my spirit, I asked myself, “Why do we spend so much time in life (especially ministry) worrying about and trying to achieve things that aren’t based on the love of God?” “Why do we get so distracted about communicating other things besides the love of God?”. If the only three things that remain are, “faith, hope and love”, with love being the greatest, then those should be the key things we focus on.

Obviously it’s necessary for me to spend time on relationships and my job, so I’m not negating that. I just feel that while it’s ok to ponder and inquire about certain things, we must come back to love at the end of the day. When we posture our hearts in prayer to say, “Father, what role does faith, hope and love have to do in my current situation?”, we will have a much more stable outlook on life. There are many things that I can say or do with my life, but I want them to be built upon love. If there are selfish ambitions, I want to die to them so love can remain. If I am in fear and not trusting God in an area, I want love to come in and perfect my thoughts. If I am dreading something and have no idea how to believe for God’s promises to come to pass, I want love to bring hope and faith alive in my heart so I can look unwaveringly to Him.

His love is steadfast and never changing. LOVE and that of a perfect God who sent His only son who freely left the pleasure of Heaven to come to the earth to die for us, who was raised again and ascended to the Father to then send the Holy Spirit to abide with and help us forever! There is only one source of perfect love. When we let other “loves” dwell in our heart or negate seeking the One who created love, we miss remaining in the greatest thing—God’s perfect love.

It’s so easy to let money, identity, fame, building a name, finding a spouse etc. to fill your heart and desires. It’s easy to spend your life inquiring why this person wronged you, why you didn’t get the said job, why you don’t look like so and so, and completely miss the most important thing-love.

My prayer over you today would simply be that you would inquire of the love of the Lord and let it cover every anxiety, worry and fear. I feel David said it best in Psalm 27:4, “One thing I have desired of the Lord, That will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord All the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the Lord, And to inquire in His temple.” David’s life was marked not because of his title as a King, nor his sin, not even for building an incredible temple. David instead learned to cultivate his inner man before God and thus God called him a man after His own heart. What does that look like? What can that mean? (Here I go with my questions ;) ) How can we be like David in this not moved by titles, accomplishments or living in regret of sin? David made God the ruler of His life and inquired of His love and was then able to receive revelation of the depth of love.

I think it’s so easy to look at what we know from someone else’s life and assume that when we enter a similar situation or season that it’ll be the same for us. What’s missing is all of the behind the scenes details that we may not know and the unique way that season will happen for us. Take marriage for example. When we are single it’s easy to look ahead and envision what our marriage will look like. We see other couples and think to ourselves that will be us someday. The reality is when we entertain these thoughts it’s in an immature state where we don’t even know our spouses. Often times these things can carry through a courtship, engagement and marriage seasons if we aren’t aware. By no means am I remotely disappointed with my husband or being married to him, but there have certainly been disappointments in this season that are out of our control. I know that God brought us together and I believe I have the greatest husband in the world (I’m sure your spouse is incredible too ;-) ). Just because I think the world of him doesn’t mean that our relationship or marriage was everything we expected, but God has been faithful to what He’s said for us. I never imagined I’d spend my engagement season 12,000 miles away from my fiancé. Nor did I imagine that food allergies and a car accident would bring a lot of physical complications in the first 6 months of our marriage. Yet in all of this, Jesus has reveled His love and character both in and through our lives and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

This is just one common example that I’m obviously personally walking out in my life. I learned early on in my relationship with Stephen that my “ideals” of years earlier and the way other people walked out their relationships wouldn’t be exactly the same for us. I learned that those expectations weren’t God directed and often weren’t even important such as being in the same town during engagement. I began to find JOY in the uniqueness of our relationship and quit comparing it to the fantasied observations I had of others. This has kept me from great disappointment and united with God’s true intentions for my life.

I hear the heartbreak in many voices as they convey that they wished situations were different. Most of the time, the circumstances are out of their control and are the result of other’s choices. A young person is not responsible for a separation of their parents or the death of a close loved one. The only thing that individual can be responsible for is their reaction to the situation and whether or not they choose to seek The Lord in it or not. We can really only choose to be obedient to The Lord through the leadership of His Holy Spirit and love Him at all costs. That is what He asks of us. We will face many options and make many mistakes, but ultimately if we are submitted to His leadership, we will find that peace and fulfillment that we are truly longing for. We may think we are longing for a specific cookie cutter scenario, but really we desire peace to rule in our lives. We can find that by abiding in Christ and allowing His expectations to guide us. We will constantly be disappointed by people and circumstances and if we allow it, we’ll feel dragged down and like our head is barely above water. However, if we choose to stay in His presence and inquire of His ways in our life, we’ll stay afloat.

We have the choice to either look at the imperfections of our situation or look to the perfection of Jesus Christ. I write this today because my life is FAAAAR from perfect, not that anyone remotely thinks that it is ;) I just say that to be honest and to free you from any expectations you have of yourself, your family, your job, your ministry or your marriage to be perfect. Only Christ is perfect. The great news is that as we allow Him to perfect His heart and character in us, we will become more like Him. This doesn’t mean that people will sing our praises and we will somehow become noble, but it does mean people will see Him rightly through our broken and often crooked places.

When we choose to look unto Jesus, who Hebrews 12:2 says is the author and finisher of our faith, we can be fully satisfied in the season we are in, no matter how great the storm. We can’t base our response to God on the met or unmet expectations of a particular season. When we do, we negate His good and perfect will and yoke ourselves to despair and hope deferred.

My prayer for you is that you would be equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:17) And that you would love The Lord your God will all your soul, mind, and strength and that you would love those in your life. (Matthew 22:37)

I currently live in Tulsa where the color orange is everywhere! This is unfortunate for me for reasons beyond orange being my least favorite color ;-) The constant orange tells me that I’m going to be inconvenienced in some way by, yep you guessed it, construction.

This most recently has meant bulldozers in our front yard( yes even on Saturday mornings) and a detour path onto our neighborhood street. I’ve been surprised by new and ever evolving construction projects like last night as I witnessed a mile long 25mph site near my parent’s home.

Much like the places I see in Tulsa being reworked, I often find that God is in the construction business of my heart too. He is always trying to work more of Himself into me and work the ugliness of my heart out of me. I know right now in particular, I’m certainly in a season of being under construction. I guess it’s fitting that my inside match my outside world.

I think when we find ourselves in this place, as important as it is to have some things removed or deposited in us, it’s equally important to be patient in the process. The last word that comes to my mind when encountering construction is to be patient. Everything in me wants to go another way and so it is spiritually when I find myself in this place.

When Stephen and I encountered a new interchange where construction had been completed, we complimented the work and enjoyed the ease of free flowing traffic. In that moment, all of the stressful moments of sitting in traffic there and being rerouted seemed a distant memory. This is often true of our hearts. Once we see the other side, we realize the pain of the journey to get there was worth it after all. Not to underestimate that the construction period might involve old “pathways” being torn down, expanding and making room for others to share your lane, and the occasional “detour” pathway that isn’t what you originally intended.

Jesus spoke words that seemed to confuse many whenever right after turning tables over in the temple He then said,” “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.” Then the Jews said, “It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and will You raise it up in three days?” But He was speaking of the temple of His body.”
He may have confused them in the moment but the scripture goes on to say,”Therefore, when He had risen from the dead, His disciples remembered that He had said this to them; and they believed the Scripture and the word which Jesus had said.”
John 2:19-22

Sometimes what seems like a ridiculous construction process is actually a testimony that Jesus is alive and working in our lives!

The story of the four friends who lowered their paralyzed friend down through a roof in Mark Chapter 2 comes to mind when I think of construction. Unlike the previous scripture where Jesus himself caused a mess in the temple, it was the friends who ripped through mud and thatch to get their friend to Jesus. They were willing to get a little messy and throw off what the homeowner and religious leaders would think by “dropping in”. This resulted in a gloriously changed life and the paralytic was made whole and many had faith to believe Jesus as a result.

You see, being under construction isn’t that bad after all. I often find even in my delays that I still get to where I’m going and nothing is ever truly lost. I encourage you, let Holy Spirit search your heart and make you more like Jesus and don’t be afraid to step out in faith for others too. Pay attention to the signs that can be frustrating that encourage you to “slow down”, “merge”, “detour” etc. Your next “mess” could result in a changed life.

Time for an honest confession, I had a very frustrating moment yesterday. I know, you’re probably reading this as a super composed person who never gets frustrated, but I’m ok with admitting my weak moments ;-) (kidding) I really did though and I felt discouraged over not just the present situation that was bothering me, but the many others like it where I’d be disappointed. The scenario left my mind reeling and thinking, “I wish that I had that in writing.” To a fault sometimes, I am very trusting and just assume that people mean what they say. Unfortunately sometimes I’ve fallen into situations where people say one thing and never follow through, or they’ve exaggerated the truth and it comes back to frustrate me. As I was voicing my inner disposition to The Lord and…ok, yes complaining, I was saying to Him, “Even if I had it in writing, someone could still manipulate me and go back on what they said. There’s not even a point because people are capable of lying.” (Can you hear my hurt talking…?)Then, sharper than I could think, I heard in my spirit, “Yes, but I have written my words to you so that you have them to stand on and I am not capable of lying.” BAM! Just like that the Spirit of God corrected my hurt heart. This did not negate my frustrating situation, but it did lift me up to real truth.

Man’s word against God’s doesn’t measure up. Even “laws” are made and later changed and wedding “vows” are sadly broken far too often. There are empty promises with careers where people chase them seeking fulfillment. People search for love, find it only to continue to pursue other loves in their life. Our searching for truth and a reliable word to stand on will never end until we come to accept the Word of God.

There are many people whom I love dearly and know that they have great hearts. My husband, my family and several friends are trustworthy people, but they can still disappoint me. They may have great love in their hearts for me, but they will always be human and capable of unfulfilled words. If I choose to hold fast only to their words or the words of an employer or organization, I will always be frustrated. However, when I look to the word of God as an absolute truth and align my life with the God who loves me, I will not be dismayed. There is perfected love in God the Father, in Jesus Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Since this love is perfect,Their words are perfect.

They have given us Their word. God didn’t just “send His son” and His son didn’t “just die” as acts that are long forgotten. No, it was written down so we could take Them at their word. Jesus while on the earth declared in John 16, “However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you. All things that the Father has are Mine. Therefore I said that He will take of Mine and declare it to you.” Jesus said that Holy Spirit would come to us to declare the words of the Father and the Son! Not only do we have a written word, but we have witness of His Spirit that His word is truth!! Talk about going above and beyond to keep a word!!!

I realize there are many discussions on if the whole Bible is truth or not. While I do not have time in this entry to address all of them ;), I encourage you to trust His word. If you’ve struggled in this place, it is probably because you’ve yet to really trust God and take Him at His word. He doesn’t mind your questions and because of His Holy Spirit, He will always provide an answer. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked questions like I did yesterday or ask Him to reveal an answer in the Bible and He answers me. I will tell you that EVERY time that I posture my heart to receive truth, He answers me.

Principle for today: Take God at His word! He will be faithful to you.

“God is not a man, that He should lie, Nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good? (Numbers 23:19 NKJV)