Tag Archives: jesus

The Cost of Coveting

Yesterday I wrote about the cost of compromise and how was need to find contentment in who we were created to be. This topic transitions into today’s topic of covetousness.

When we covet we are ultimately revealing that whatever we are coveting is more precious to us than the Lord. One of the 10 commandments is, “You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor” (Exodus 20:17). The definition of covet is:1. To desire wrongfully, inordinately, or without regard to the rights of others. 2. To wish for, especially eagerly 3. To have a wrongful desire.

In today’s society and the materialism that surrounds us, it doesn’t take long to find something we desire and feel we should or must have. Our friends buy a new house, a new car, get new clothes etc., and we feel compelled to have it. The traps come when we feel discouraged or disappointed with what we currently have, be that relationships or possessions because then we feel we must obtain something else.

The problem is that while acquiring things might give us temporal pleasure, if we bank our happiness on this we will never truly be satisfied. Coveting is in such a nature that it never ends. You will always desire something else by fixing your eyes on things of this world and you’ll never be content.

When you covet something, you have an excessive craving for what does not belong to you. This is not merely admiring something someone has or an aspect of someone’s life. This is an extreme dissatisfaction with what you have and a drive to obtain more. I think that God naturally put a desire inside of mankind to desire something MORE. We were made to not be sufficient in ourselves as we were created to need God, and to desire Him. When sin entered the world, this desire got perverted into selfish ambition and thinking that we could fulfill ourselves with things of this world.

Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 4:4, “I have seen that all the work done is because a man wants what his neighbor has. This also is for nothing, like trying to catch the wind.” Solomon knew more wealth than anyone reading this, yet he saw it was all vanity. In the end all of our work to acquire things is futile and doesn’t carry over with us into eternity. Yes we need a roof over our heads and clothes on our back and I don’t think it’s wrong to have nice things, but is it really worth it to invest all our energy and desire into obtaining things?

To redirect the covetousness tendency within us, we must seek the Lord and the pleasure of His life for us. I was listening to a testimony this past week of a man who used to be very famous and had been in a lifestyle of drugs including meth for two years. He made the statement that when Holy Spirit came into his life, that it was a greater sensation than anything he had sought out before in his life of drugs. That not even the best “high” before remotely compared to a moment in the presence of God and receiving His forgiveness.

That testimony is powerful to me especially when I’ve seen people earnestly seek more things through means of this world. I’ve seen tears fall from not being able to have the latest and greatest and I too have felt the pain of feeling like I’m missing out at times. Yet when I really consider where lasting pleasure is, I know my heart has deceived me. For ultimate satisfaction comes from knowing Him and not in what I can hold in my hands or see. When my life is over, I will give an account of how I knew Jesus and how my life reflected Him in the highs and in the lows. I will be asked what I did with what He gave me including the family and relationships I’ve been blessed with. I will not have my car, a house, or any possessions with me. This makes Solomon’s words ring loudly in my ears as I don’t want to live my life attempting to “catch the wind”. I want to catch the heart of God.

What do we desire more of—Jesus or this world? What is our motive for wanting more things? Is it that we need for example a newer car because it’s breaking down or because we just “want” it? Are we heartbroken whenever we can’t get what “we want”? Are we willing to compromise integrity to obtain something? Have we invited the conviction of the Holy Spirit to reveal weakness in our hearts in this area?

Hebrews 13:5 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

1 Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

The Cost of Comparison

When we walk through our day, we are naturally evaluating and comparing circumstances in our heads. Think of going to the grocery store. If you’re like me, you examine the fruit and compare the one you pick up to the whole batch and see which ones are the best. My husband loves avocados and I’ve learned how to find the best ones by picking several up and comparing them. As I shop I always look and compare prices of brands and quantity. I ask myself if it is worth paying a little more upfront for lasting quality or for a lesser price per item in the end. As I go to check out, I compare the lines and the speed at which the cashiers are checking people out to see what line I should walk through.

Just this weekend I heard several songs on the radio and began to compare them against each other forming an inner conclusion of which one was really “the best”. While having a mindset of comparing fruit or songs might be beneficial to us in the end, if this mindset bleeds into other aspects of our life, it can be detrimental.

When we feel as though we are lacking, it’s not because we are looking exclusively to Jesus and His plan for our life. We feel we are in lack when we see our lives in comparison to where others are or when compared to our own ideal circumstances for our lives. When you compare yourself to others, you’re in essence telling God that what He has given to you or created you to be is not enough. It’s so easy in the day we are living in to find a “better” or more ideal situation than what we currently find ourselves in. However when we do this, we are often neglecting who God created us to be.

The comparison game is nothing new, it goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden. What led Adam and Eve into sin in the Garden was the allurement that they could “become like God”, as Satan told them by disobeying what God had commanded. They weren’t content in being who God had created them to be and they began to listen to the lies of the serpent and compared where they were capable of to what God, their Creator was capable of. Genesis 3:6 says, “When the woman (Eve) saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it”. This act of sin went against what God had called “good” and it caused Adam and Eve to see themselves and their creator in a new way.

God had called the garden “good” and He called the man and woman “good” and asked that they only not eat the fruit of one tree. After they desired of the one thing they were asked not to have, their eyes were open and they stood naked and ashamed. I think when we give into sin and the lies of the enemy by desiring to be in a condition that we were never intended to be, we will resent who we were originally created by God to be.

Comparison inhibits us from being the unique creation that God made us to be. It is an enemy to who God created us to be because it creates insecurities, pride, and jealousy within us to strive and be something we were never created to be. If all we are is distracted and driven by comparison, we won’t have energy to be operating at our potential of who we are called to be. The more we compare our lives to others, the further we drift from fulfilling our God-given purpose. The more we act like Adam and Eve by focusing on the things we don’t have, we miss out on enjoying the rest of life that God has provided for us.

Take a look across your “garden” of life. See ALL that God has created within you and around you for you to flourish in that place. Listen and recognize the voice of the enemy lying to you and persuading you to believe that you are worse than or better than those around you. You can never keep up with the endless and meaningless trail the enemy will lead you down. You can however abide in who you were created to be and flourish in the unique expression of God in the earth.

Tattered Jeans and Our Outward Appearance

I was greatly encouraged as I sat and looked up podcasts of one of my favorite preachers. This minister happens to be a lovely lady whom I’ve been very encouraged through her ministry in the past 6 years or so. I’ve not had great access to the Internet recently and I’ve certainly not had enough to stream or download videos in Africa. Upon watching 3 of her teachings and downloading a 4th, I noticed that she was wearing only 2 outfits between the 4 podcasts. What was interesting is that two of them were in random churches she was visiting and the other two were in her home church within a year of each other. Her full outfit was shown on the home church screen and I noticed that the pair of jeans she had on were a bit frayed in the back as if they’d been stepped on often. This isn’t a high-definition camera either and it was clearly obvious that her jeans were tattered in the back…and I smiled.

I smiled because here I am currently sitting here in Tulsa, Oklahoma, my hometown wearing borrowed clothes because all of my summer clothes are currently 12,000 miles away save a t-shirt or two.I smiled because this woman is well-known and while she always looks decent and put together, she’s clearly not consumed about what she wears.I smiled because it conveyed that she was more invested financially in the Kingdom that her own wardrobe. I smiled because the reality is, none of us should be consumed by our outward appearance, but we are often and this was a redeeming example to look to.

I remember coming across a post on Facebook from another well-known woman in ministry a few years ago. She wrote how she had just had her hair colored for a conference because as she said, “let’s be honest ladies, God may look at our heart, but women look at our hair”. I quickly scanned the over 1,000 comments that were growing by the minute and many said things like, “ I could never speak to that many women unless I lost weight”, or “I would color my hair too and maybe have liposuction and a nose job”! The comments weren’t all so extreme, but many reflected insecurities that would’ve intimidated them from speaking to a group of women on the scale this minister was going to do. I love this particular speaker as well and I don’t fault her at all for saying what she said. I get it. I think that we all do. However, is that the way we should view ourselves?

Do we care too much about our outward appearance? Do we try to buy the newest and greatest things only to make up the outward appearance? And are we critical of ourself and others based on how we are dressed? One glance at Facebook or Pinterest reveals that women care about their outward appearance a lot…oh and babies, puppies, and pumpkin everything, which is perfectly acceptable ;)

Quite honestly I rarely pay attention to what either of these women wear when they’re speaking or how they’re highlights look. I just happened to notice a unique top being repeated and it made me look closer. The reason that I don’t notice if these two women are dressed in expensive clothes or have a $200 hair do, is because I’m not watching them to see what they look like outwardly, I’m watching them to see who they are inwardly. I listen to their words because they bring life and truth from God’s word. I hear their maturity of having walked down paths ahead of me in life. And I receive their impartation of hope and identity to be the daughter of God that I’m called to be.

That’s what I want to do for you, whomever you are reading this post. I want you to feel empowered to be YOU (and yes even if you are a man—sorry you endured this female encouragement)! I don’t want you to feel like you have to go spend a lot of your paycheck on making up your outward self or keeping up with popular trends. Yes, I want you to be confident and feel comfortable, but I don’t want you consumed with it. I want you to be so excited and consumed with Jesus that you look to Him in all that you do. That you spend more time in His word and encouraging your faith, than you spend time doing your hair and makeup everyday. I want you to realize that your inward beauty is what REALLY matters. When you spend time on your purity of heart, no one will notice your tattered jeans, unless of course they do and it makes them smile :)

What are your thoughts? How have you struggled with your outward appearance and how has Jesus helped you in this?

SCRIPTURES:
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? Matthew 6:25-30

Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness-1 Timothy 2:8-10

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. 1 Peter 3:3-5

Why I Need to Be More Like a Cheerleader

I’m not quite sure why I’ve been writing about cheerleaders recently, but they inspired me to write this entry. This week I went to my first college football game at the University of Tulsa. My dad has been teaching there on and off for several years in addition to his full-time job, but this summer he became a full-time professor. He bought season tickets to the football games and invited SK and I to attend the opening game. We went and it was a fun experience especially because it brought back memories of my High School, Union, playing on that field for big rival games and TU’s current football coach was the former Union HS coach. I watched as the opposing team scored two touchdowns with TU missing a couple of field goals. TU was hardly on the side of the field where the cheerleaders were during the first quarter as the other team was scoring in the far end zone. I watched as the cheerleaders stepped up their cheers supporting their team. It made me chuckle because all of the fans were disgruntled and even I, an indifferent football fan, was thinking, “c’mon guys! This is pathetic”. Yet, even amidst the scowling fans, the cheerleaders kept smiling and encouraging their team.

I remember being on the sidelines of football and basketball games in High School and feeling dumb when I was all smiley and saying, “Go Big Red—lets GO!” at times when our teams were losing. I remember the cheesiness oozing out of my slap happy smile. Back then I didn’t always understand the rules of the game, but I knew I wanted my team to win! I had worked hard learning routines and memorizing band songs to cheer along to, so I wasn’t about to waste my practice time and not cheer. It didn’t matter how things looked or what the score was, I keep cheering. I didn’t give up in the last few minutes even when the game was going to end in a definite defeat.

In life a lot of times though I am the opposite of my high school cheering days. The day starts off on a bad note and I often immediately project one “bad play” as a lost game or a day ruined. When the enemy seems to be winning and keeps making advances on every front, I throw my pom-poms down and begin to sulk. It just doesn’t make sense to stand up and be joyful. It doesn’t feel natural and at times, I want a pity party. At times I am being defeated and what it will take to make a comeback seems overwhelming.

What’s so great about following Jesus is that I don’t have to be led by my feelings. I can choose to trust in His word even when my feelings are leading me somewhere else. I can rely on the truth that no matter how much I might feel like I’m “losing”, the end of the story is that the enemy is defeated and that Jesus is victorious! That is all that I need to know. I need to pick up my pom-poms, put a smile on my face because I am a daughter of the Most High God, and know I will overcome because of Jesus Christ who lives inside of me.

Stephen and I left the TU game at the beginning of the 4th quarter. It was being televised and that slowed the game down to where the game had already lasted 3 hours by the time we left. It appeared TU didn’t have a chance to come back, so off we went. Stephen turned on the radio in the car to the game and after the opposing team scored yet another touchdown, we turned the radio off. The game in the end was won by TU in double overtime by 7 points! Just like in sports games, our battles aren’t over until they’re over and that my friends is why we MUST keep cheering, keep believing, and hoping! The BEST is yet to come and we will see VICTORY!

Here’s a bonus as I don’t currently have access to my actual Middle School through High School dance team pics…this is 4th grade Halloween when I BEGGED my mom to get a perm–scary! ;) Don’t be a frowning cheerleader!!
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Skirts, Flirts, Hurts & 5 Questions About Modesty

Kuerts

In coming across a well spread article on modesty, I began to have some red flags go off in me while reading it. While I’m sure the author is a Jesus-loving lady, I disagreed largely with her thoughts and I wanted to share some thoughts of my own taken from my journey regarding modesty.

While I didn’t grow up attending church and being taught on biblical modesty, I was taught self-value. I may not have entered a church at 2 years old, but I did enter the dance studio. Which means that as I grew, I took on my parent’s tall lean build and my “Dance Team” cheer skits were often shorter than others. My identity was formed in a typical MTV generation culture where women were viewed as sexual objects. Being raised in a time where media showed unfaithfulness, fornication, pornography, and impossible standards of beauty for women, what else was I to think? I didn’t know any better and I longed to be found beautiful by the opposite sex. This caused a long hard road of heartache, but out of it came great redemption from the love of God and his beautiful plan for my life to be pure and pleasing to Him. It is because of my experience in the freedom of Christ that I share these questions with you.

#1 Is There a Clear Line Regarding Christian Modesty?

Don’t worry! I’m not going to tell you that a way to measure modesty is by the “hallelujah” test where you raise your arms to see if your shirt is too short (an embarrassing and ridiculous test if you ask me—just wear long layers underneath your top). Nor am I going to give you a list of dos and don’ts. Instead I want to challenge us to think, ask questions, and seek to be those who fully love God.

The short answer to this question is no, there isn’t a clear line which is why there are so many views on this topic. I’m not saying that I have all the answers, but I feel it’s important to start by looking at what Scripture has to say about this topic.

1 Peter 3:3-5 says, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.”

1 Timothy 2:9-10 says, “I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.”

It appears that both Peter and Paul were on the same page and I agree with them. I believe that all scripture is from God and that woman should dress as to reflect Jesus properly. I believe these scriptures equally mean that we shouldn’t be materialistic or obsessed with our outward appearance and our wardrobe. I also believe that there are some absolutes when it comes to modesty such as not having your breasts and other private parts hanging out (in a Western context, more on this later). Beyond the absolutes though in regards to manner of dress AND disposition of personality, I personally believe that daughters of God must listen to the Bible and to the conviction of the Holy Spirit themselves.

The reality is that someone could submit pictures to me of a woman wearing a particular outfit and I could give my personal opinion or even submit it before a panel of Christian men and get their opinion. If we all deemed the outfit inappropriate, one might be motivated not to wear it. However, until a person desires to please the Lord for himself or herself and listen to Him, they won’t have the personal conviction and proper motivation to please Him by what they wear and how they act.This is in my opinion where legalism can come into play and why many rebel against the “standards” that are set by others. It is one thing to comply with a dress code for a job or for a church service, but unless someone comes to a mature place to understand what pleases Jesus, they’ll often view these dress codes as legalistic and thus miss an opportunity to see His views.

The place modesty should start is in serving Jesus, not ourselves. When we get our focus on serving Jesus, we will seek to be pleasing to Him in all that we do. In so doing this we can eliminate the mentality of, “How close can I get to the line without crossing it?” and the attitude of flaunting our wardrobe and accessories. We can then be empowered to be as abandoned to the will of God as possible and become what God has always desired, a heart that is fully His. A heart that chooses Him, honors Him, and one that is quick to repent of sin and be near to Him. It’s important to know that Jesus doesn’t condemn us and shame us into submitting to His ways, BUT He will correct us and lead us into righteousness for His name’s sake as we choose to do His will. (Psalm 23:3) I say this to clarify that Jesus delights in us doing His will and doesn’t beat us up when we sin. He loves and takes pleasure in helping us mature in righteousness and become more like Him.

I’d like to say too that modesty is more than just our outward appearance. Modest clothing doesn’t always equal modest behavior. Any woman or man can be fully clothed and still be operating in a seductive and lustful spirit. By contrast, someone else may not be modestly dressed, but they might have a genuine heart to seek God and aren’t aware of how to dress. As believers we can teach and share with others, but it is not our place to judge based on non-absolutes that aren’t clearly defined in Scripture. Which brings me to my next point…

#2 Are We Teaching on Modesty in the Right Spirit?

I stated earlier that my “cheer skirts” were short. School dress code prohibited shorts or other skirts to be any shorter than fingertip length with arms fully extended by your side. Therefore due to my genetically long monkey arms, my fingertip length for shorts/skirts was considered “dorky” back then and I would’ve been made fun of mercilessly. When summer time came with no school restrictions on my outfits, I typically wore “short shorts” and tank tops where my midriff showed some. Where I’m from in Tulsa, Oklahoma, it gets into the 100s and the less you wore, the more comfortable you were. That was all I knew.

When I made Jesus the Lord of my life my junior year of High School at 16 years old, much changed in my life. I was so hungry for God, I attended church a few times a week, read my bible everyday, but I was still a baby in Christ and had plenty to learn (and I still do!).

Often after youth group, some of us would go for Tex-Mex and I’d get free food like chips and pop from the waiters. I’ve always had a strong personality, a deep love for people that caused me to talk to everyone, and then there’s my vibrant red hair. This combination definitely caused me to be noticed more than I realized. At this stage in life I didn’t have a strong identity in Christ, nor did I realize that I was drawing impure attention from men. I knew I wasn’t sleeping around and wearing super revealing clothes so I thought that in comparison with other girls, I was doing great! I just couldn’t see my blind spot.

One day during my senior year of High School, I had a talk with some of my male youth leaders that changed my life forever. They spoke with me about my strong personality and how that combined with how I dressed, men were turning their heads and giving me attention that wasn’t pure. These leaders shared the struggles men have with sexual sin and it helped me understand the realities of lust. They celebrated my leadership “command the room” type personality, my desire to connect with people, and they helped me find a righteous balance. They spoke in such a tender Spirit led way that I didn’t walk away feeling ashamed. Instead I left the conversation feeling beautiful and I desired to protect the beauty that God had placed within me. Their talk left me realizing that my personality gave me an opportunity to point people to Jesus and that put a joyous responsibility on me and it is partially why I’m secure in who I am today.

There were other love centered rebukes in the years that followed and I appreciated the insight and the correction that came with being held to a righteous standard. However, there were a few other instances where I was told in rather harsh ways that what I was wearing wasn’t proper and even that the way that I swayed my hips in worship could be distracting for men. Those moments always left me feeling embarrassed and degraded rather than corrected in love. For a short while I became more focused on how I moved while worshipping Jesus, than focused on actually worshipping Jesus.

The point in sharing these two examples is to emphasize the contrast of confrontations. One group sought to turn what God had given me, a people loving outgoing personality, into a pure hearted and modest awareness that displayed Christ; whereas the other sought to correct an outward appearance based on personal opinion without welcoming the love of God into the situation.

I think that as believers we MUST meet people where they are and speak in love. We can’t assume that they’ve had the best examples growing up or that they understand their new identity in Christ. I believe there is a way to teach modesty to women and men in a way that helps them fall more in love with Jesus and who He’s created them to be. I often think of how Jesus treated the woman caught in adultery in John chapter 8 with tenderness and empowerment to walk away from a place of sin with renewed hope. This approach can cultivate a desire for one to yield themselves to Him not only in their outward appearance, but also in a manner of heart.

#3 Have We Become Victims to Culture and Society?

There are common mentalities in the world today that provide opportunities for people to not own responsibility for their actions or to be held accountable to a moral compass that sets boundaries. Simply put, people don’t like to be told what to do. These ideologies have crept into the church and have given believers an excuse to do as they please instead of being accountable to God. If we profess to follow Christ, the Bible should be our final word of authority, not the society around us. I believe that when our desire is to please the Lord in every area of our lives, He will help us. As believers, we must all become responsible for our actions and our attitudes. When we stand before God one day He isn’t going to ask how many people made us stumble. He will ask if we partnered with His word to overcome the temptations we found ourselves in and if we turned away from sin.

I had plenty of excuses with my MTV background and my flirty skirts to play victim to circumstance. I faced plenty of temptations in the area of sexual sin as well as being involved in impure relationships in my teen years. Instead of remaining in a place of hurt and insecurity, I sought the Lord, read His word, and invited His loving correction into my life. I’m grateful as this turn of heart caused me to experience freedom and I ended up marrying a holy, Jesus-loving man, whose heart towards me is pure.

My husband grew up as a missionary in East Africa and as a single man, he was a missionary in Burundi. This offered him unique insight into modesty as it relates to cultural differences. Almost every time he would preach in a church in Burundi, women would begin to openly breastfeed their babies. I understand that this varies from the typical American church service where women would never do this, but in Africa and many parts of the world this is completely normal. Hello—hungry babies + moms hungry for word of God=breastfeeding in service and anywhere for that matter. So here was my husband having prayed and prepared a word, continually faced with the onslaught of up close and personal breasts as he preached. He said to me, “It wasn’t their fault that their babies are hungry and that they chose to feed them during service. It was my responsibility to have my flesh crucified so that I was only looking to Jesus and focused on what He wanted to say to the people. There was no excuse to entertain lust just because there was an opportunity for it, for I’m accountable to God’s Word.” I realize most men aren’t going to be preaching in a cultural context like Burundi, but the same principle applies if they see a woman dressed improperly or if presented with pornography.

There are natural chemical responses in our bodies that manifest physically when faced with a sexual temptation. Particularly for men being more visual than women, they can get an adrenaline rush just from seeing a woman’s body. I agree that it’s not their fault that their bodies are made to respond like that because in the context of marriage it is wonderful and holy. HOWEVER, it is the man’s responsibility to deal with their response to culture and society in a way that glorifies God just as much as it is for a woman to dress and behave in a way that glorifies God. This means glorifying God both inwardly in their thought life as well as outwardly by turning away their eyes. The influence of the world doesn’t give believers the right to play victim to unrighteousness. We are held to the same Biblical standards regardless of others actions.


#4 Are We Protecting the Hearts of Others?

When people dress or act inappropriately it is often rooted in insecurity from a lack of identity in Christ. This insecurity produces selfishness that can lead to pressures to compete and compare with others, which can ultimately lead to compromise. If we honor the opposite sex selflessly as brothers and sisters in Christ, then we have an opportunity to mature in our identity in Him. This produces a pure heart that wants to protect others.

Proper identity in Christ as a son or daughter teaches us to honor, love, and protect those around us by treating them as we would the Lord Himself.

When a person reaches a place where they love the opposite sex purely and serve them with the heart of Christ instead of operating out of insecurity, God releases maturity into their hearts that can carry them into a healthy marriage. My single years taught me to be a sister to other men and to keep my heart guarded for the man I’d marry someday. Holding to this posture as a married or single person can help us create safe environments for godly relationships to flourish so that we can purely partner together for His kingdom.

#5 Have We Truly Experienced the Freedom in Christ that Sets Us Apart from this World?

Unrighteousness living presents “freedom” as being whoever we want to be and doing whatever feels good. The freedom in Christ produces what others could view as “restrictions”, but it ultimately gives us authentic liberty. Modesty isn’t limiting who we are; rather it’s releasing us into who God made us to be. Let me say to all the ladies reading this; there is incredible beauty in being a daughter of God. There is likewise a heavy burden in being a daughter of this world enslaved to what others define as beautiful.

When I read the blog that I mentioned in my intro, I was sitting in an Islamic context with women physically covered up all around me. This could be why the blog struck me as so bizarre as it conveyed that the more covered up a woman was; then the less men would lust, which I disagree with. I don’t know if that author is familiar with Islamic culture, nor do I pretend to be an expert, but I do know how oppressive that religion can be for women in various ways. In the manner of dress, they are typically covered up from head to toe, often in strict culture having only their eyes visible. The rationale behind this is because women’s bodies elicit lust and men simply can’t control themselves. Islam teaches that it’s the woman’s fault that men lust and that she must cover up her entire body. The Bible on the other hand teaches us to deny OURSELVES, crucify OUR FLESH and put to death the lusts of OUR SOUL. Herein lies my problem with Christians who teach that it’s not the man’s fault when he lusts after a woman. I wasn’t there, but from what I read, Bathsheba was only taking a bath! I’m not sure how it was her fault that David lusted after her. We must remember what Jesus said, “if anyone even looks at a woman with lust, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). If we say that it’s exclusively the woman’s fault that a man looks and then lusts after her, how then is that any different than Islam? If we suggest that women should only be covered in large baggy garments, how is that releasing freedom to the daughters of God?

I share this because the freedom that we have in Jesus Christ is not bound in legalism and oppression that the world offers. There is HOPE in Jesus that liberates us from sin and separates us into righteous living (right standing with Him). He calls us out from serving our flesh and into finding our beauty in who He has created us to be. This freedom doesn’t permit us to make others stumble. Rather, our modesty becomes worship to the one true living God.

*If you’d like to encourage someone with this blog, share it! If you’d like to comment on this, I’d love to hear from you. :)

I’m working on expanding this into a short book and would love your feedback! (Jan 2014)

Cheez-Its in the Fireplace

Today, the house worker assigned to the guesthouse in Kenya where we are staying right now came over. Honestly he is more like family as he’s worked in the compound where my in-laws have lived for about 20 years. His name is Paul and he’s one of my most favorite people ever. He comes over to hand wash dishes (because there is no dishwasher) and take care of things inside of the house. There is a fireplace here and while I know some friends are sweating in the August temps in the USA, I’m freezing here in Kenya. We’ve been asked by the workers on the compound why we haven’t lit a fire yet as there is a lot of firewood outside of the house and we’ve never had a good response. We’ve been back and forth to so many medical appointments and running around that when we come home at night, we just throw on more layers and heat up hot water bottles. Last night however, we finally lit a fire! I sat near it and finished an ongoing project on my computer and then we watched a movie.

This morning when Paul came over, he was very happy to see that we had used the fireplace last night! Stephen thanked him for putting the wood in there and that we had really enjoyed it. A huge smile came across his face and a joyful laugh came forth. I’m not exaggerating when I say that Paul has the best smile and is one of the most joyful people I’ve ever met. I’m always trying to learn Swahili from him and make jokes to get him to smile. Even though he’s known Stephen for years, we joke that I’m now Paul’s favorite. All that to say once Stephen said that “Bailey really appreciated having a fire”, the man was on a mission! He cleaned out the ashes and quickly brought in more firewood.

I entered the room right as I saw him carrying a “Cheez-It” box. I thought what on earth is Paul doing with a Cheez-It box and where did it come from anyways?! I’m not going to lie, it also kind of made me hungry. I watched him as he walked over to the fireplace and began to rip the box apart. “Ah for kindling!”, I said as I realized what was going on.

Stephen and I then headed out the door in search of reliable internet. We again emphasized our gratefulness for Paul taking care of the fireplace and how much we were looking forward to another fire on this cold day. As we headed down the driveway in a car, we saw the man coming to repair the electricity in the house (which is a story for another day). Stephen went back inside with the electrician and as he did, the mechanic came to get the car which got hit two nights ago (again another story for another day). So that ended our plans to go find internet. Back inside the house I went and began to work on my laptop as Stephen discussed with these men. Shortly after sitting inside I began to hear “popping” noises. Stephen started laughing from the other room and called out to me, “Paul lit a fire for you!”. Oh my! He took my gratefulness to another level and lit a fire for me during the daytime! Good thing as we were now stranded at the house. photo 1

This made me think of having a grateful attitude to the Lord. He delights in us being thankful and praising Him. He is always moved on our behalf and wants to bring us good gifts. One word of thankfulness from our lips causes our hearts to receive more of His goodness. He is always pouring out love on us, but I’ve found that a thankful heart positions us to become more aware of His goodness. I challenge you today to thank Him for something He’s done. It could be something so small, but find something to be thankful for. Tell Him that you love Him and that you’re thankful you’re a child of God. Then wait for His reply. It might just be that your own Cheez-It box appears from no where and that your heart gets lit up with more thankfulness for Him ;-) …but really, I’m craving those tiny cheese crackers now!

Since my entry above, a VERY thoughtful missionary here in Kenya read my blog and brought me these photo 2

Avocado Tree

In the backyard of my in-law’s house in Kenya is a huge avocado tree.

It produces avocados that average about 2 pounds each.
This varies largely in comparison to the tiny avocados that Stephen buys at Whole Foods in the States :)

My in-laws didn’t plant this tree, the former owners did.
Whenever they moved into the house and heard there was an avocado tree, they were a bit amazed as the tree was so little and didn’t produce any fruit.

My father-in-law asked a local gardener how to get the tree to produce fruit.

He was told to beat the tree with a bat or a stick.

I can only imagine what the neighbors must’ve thought when he went out to beat up the tree.

Shortly after the “beating”, the tree began to blossom for the first time. That was when they learned that these trees must be shocked in order to produce fruit.

This made me think about my walk with God.

I’m sure you’ve heard it said that praying for patience inevitably produces more opportunities for…patience right? Such as a traffic jam (which in Africa can be painfully long).

Well in my experience, there seems to be a place where when we go through trials and test that we have a chance to grow in the fruit of the spirit.

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against sun there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.”-Galatians 5:22-26

When you go into Christian bookstores and see jewelry and various other Christian items that have the fruit of the Spirit listed on there, the fruit appear simply and applicable to every believer’s life right?

There are even paintings of beautiful fruit baskets and cornucopia of fruit with Galatians 5 written on them.

I haven’t however seen huge warning signs or fine print attached to such beautiful gifts and decor that tell of what it took to produce that fruit.

Yet, that’s probably what should be written ;)

Let’s see long-suffering…what on earth does that mean?
What types of things would we walk through to produce that fruit in us? ::WHACK::
Kindness? What about that obnoxious neighbor who is completely disrespectful of anyone else but themselves? ::WHACK:: just a chance to grow in kindness.

I definitely think the picture of the avocado tree is a picture of us growing in the fruit of the Spirit.

I don’t mean to say that God beats us and challenges us in order for us to grow in fruit. But Jesus did say that in the life we would have trials and tribulations.

He never said life wouldn’t quit throwing punches at us simply because we are Christians, but we are promised that we are more than conquerors through Him.

So when life takes it’s “whacks” at you, ask Christ for endurance that you would produce fruit of the Spirit and fruit that remains.

The avocado tree in Kenya is now over two stories tall and produces several hundred avocados each year.

What fruit will the trials you’re going through now produce in the years to come?

Day 23–Words in RED–Witnesses

And He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has put in His own authority. But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” Acts 1:7,8

Jesus’ last words in red to His disciples were these great words. While He has already died at Calvary, He hadn’t yet ascended to the Father. He actually spent 40 days on the Earth after resurrection which is astounding to me in itself. As He is leaving, He comforts His disciples with these words. He is sending the Holy Spirit in place of Himself. He states that they will receive POWER to be His witnesses to the ends of the Earth.

So much can be shared on this verse and the content surrounding it. I just wanted to close the words in red this month by challenging us to receive the power of Holy Spirit to be Jesus’ witnesses in the earth. Regardless of where we are and what we are called to do, we need the power of Holy Spirit to live rightly, to seek Jesus fully and to tell others of His great love.

In this day, they were going to be the first to be filled with Holy Spirit and go out with the testimony of Jesus Christ crucified and raised from the dead. It was important that their old selves “died” so to speak and were empowered with boldness to proclaim this truth. Many would die for their faith, but did so at the gain of many coming to know Christ. You and I are reading this today because these disciples went and shared the truth of the gospel.

In one moment we see Peter who had been full of shame and had weeks earlier rejected Christ become full of boldness and proclaim the gospel and thousands get saved! We see John who went to the foot of the cross later on become the revelator who beheld Jesus in a way no one has. It’s amazing how these men and women went from followers to bold witnesses simply by receiving Holy Spirit. They yielded themselves to Him and obeyed the words in red.

Likewise for us to become witnesses for Him, we must receive the Holy Spirit. We can’t depend on our own ability to walk out Jesus’ commands and testimony of the gospel. We must lean upon a power that is higher than ours. Holy Spirit who knows and understands the ways of God and the Son. The One who leads us and guides us in all truth. The only way we can walk in total truth and share this to the ends of the earth is abiding with the words in red and receiving the greatest gift that could be given to us. Jesus wants to abide with you and I forever. Not just in eternity, but in the here and now while we are on this earth. This world needs to hear His truth and the dark areas need His light.

Will you receive power from the Holy Spirit? Will you share the words in red with the world?

#wordsinRED

Day 22–Words in RED–Faith Without Sight

Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” John 20:29

Today I had the opportunity to speak to some Kenyan youth. Their service was a panel discussion where they could ask leaders questions. I was asked at the beginning of service to close the end. I was blown away by the questions these young people asked. They asked such involved things that it was decided to continue the panel next week.

As I listened to their thoughts and questions, I formatted thoughts to close with. I thought of this verse in that we are those in the later part of the verse. We believe in Jesus even though we do not see Him. When you consider all of those who have given their lives to Jesus since His resurrection against those who physically walked with Him on the earth, it’s obvious more have believed without seeing than who believed by seeing.

I know I often want to be like Thomas, whom Jesus is addressing here. He wanted to be absolutely sure that this was truly Jesus. While I’d like to physically be with Him to know He is real, I’ve yet to have that privilege;) . Yet I have His word, His saving grace, and the testimony of His life, death and resurrection.

I have the choice to either believe or not believe the words in red. There will be moments of questions and not understanding all of the bible. Many times I’ve asked questions that the youth asked today. Often I’ve wondered why did God do this or why did God say that. While I may not always understand, I keep seeking Him. I keep taking steps towards Him. Jesus didn’t discourage Thomas’ unbelief or questions. Instead He met Thomas in the midst of uncertainty and proved who He was.

Likewise blessed are we when we believe even if we don’t see. Even if we don’t understand everything there is to know about Jesus, but we choose to believe, we are blessed. Even if we question things at times, it’s ok as long as we seek Him, His truth and His word and still believe. Jesus affirmed Thomas and drew near to his questioning heart. How much more will He draw near to is whom, “have not seen yet believed”?

“It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out.” Proverbs 25:2

Day 21–Words in RED–Come

And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. Matthew 14:25-29

There is more to this story, but I want to focus on the first part of this story.

There are many things I’ve done in my life that I thought that I had no courage or strength for. Even the fact that I am living in Africa at the moment is beyond something I could’ve done in my own strength or good ideas. Jesus strategically beckons me to come to Him wherever He is. There are times that I am quite confined to my “boat” and my ideals. Then Jesus comes along and shows me something beyond my boat. I call out like Peter did and if I know it is in fact Him, I have empowerment to take a step.

Often we stay in our comfort zones, our ideals of who Jesus is and where He is. When we find Him and He calls out to us, we’re often afraid to step out.

How strange and bizarre it must have looked for Peter to walk on water. Can you imagine what Peter would’ve thought if he had been told a week prior that he would walk with Jesus on water? It would’ve seemed inconceivable. Yet, it’s in those odd happenings like this that we can often find our Lord. He is there on the water challenging our thinking and ways of logically following Him.

What boats are holding you captive? What are the “walking on water” experiences Jesus wants you to walk in? Are you positioned in a place to hear Him calling to you? Have you overlooked seemingly impossible scenarios because it wouldn’t make sense to find Jesus there?

Jesus tells Peter,”Take heart, it is I, don’t be afraid”. With this assurance, Peter is filled with bravery to do something that’s never been done before and meet with Jesus in a remarkable historic way.

Jesus never said following Him would be easy. Most times, our steps of faith are difficult and require leaning upon His commands. He makes us brave and able to walk on the waves of this life.

“You make me brave. You call me out beyond the shore onto the waves…”