Day 5–Words in RED–Child like love

“Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3 

Today I got to meet two ADORABLE tow headed blue eyed little boys who live next door to the new guesthouse we are staying in. We’ve seen them at a distance a few times and can certainly hear their 3 and 4 year old voices during the day. They were playing outside and I approached them and introduced myself. They were shy for a total of ten seconds and then in great animation went on to tell me how old they were, what they did today, all about the dogs and cats around here, and the oldest made an adamant point to declare how he is OLDER than his little brother. I played with them as they rode a bike and played on their scooter. Hysterical laughter was almost contagious and they were so full of life, adventure and trust in this perfect stranger.

Their parents were a house away talking with some other people on the compound as I played with them. I tried to say goodbye to them and the youngest ran off crying because I was saying goodbye. As I followed him, the oldest boy raced his scooter into a drain cover and fell. He burst into huge tears and kept exclaiming, “owie, owie, owie!!”. I scooped him up and carried him towards his parents with his newly injure knees. As I did, he clung to my shoulder and cried and cried.

As I carried this sweet guy and thought of his younger brother’s tears, my heart was moved at how tender children can be. I love these words of Jesus and anytime He interacted with children. I can picture Him coming alive and rejoicing and understanding their pure hearts and minds. How impressionable they are, how pure they are in their love.

I want to be like that. I want to be a daughter of God who smiles up at my Daddy. Who speaks to Him with reverence but excitement to share my life and love with Him. I want to see purely and trust Him knowing that He cares for me.

Stephen always remarks at how much I love kids. I gawk at all of the sweet Kenyan school kids I’ve been seeing here everyday and want to take them with me. He assures me that would be a crime ;-) It’s just that I see such precious things when I look at them. I love their smiles and giggles when the goofy white girl waves at them. I loved how these two little boys today as precious as could be decided to make a new friend in me.

I believe that is how God sees us as His children. He loves when we come with pure faith and unhindered unadulterated love. He loves when we get excited to see Him. His heart is moved when we acknowledge Him and invite Him into our activities. When we invite Him into our daily lives even our bike riding and scooter gliding, He is able to pick us up when we fall and “scrape our knees”. I’m thankful for such a loving Father and Jesus who don’t desire that we come with high and lofty ideas of them, but welcome a reverent yet child like heart of love.

Day 4–Words in RED

As Jesus passed on from there, he saw a man called Matthew sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, “Follow me.” And he rose and followed him. Matthew 9:9

What I love about these words in red is that Jesus only said two words to Matthew and he followed. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never dived into anything from two words. I mean Stephen didn’t walk up to me and say,”marry me” and it was a done deal.

While that example might sound absurd when you consider what a commitment marriage is, the commitment these disciples made to follow Jesus was very costly. In Matthew chapter 8 we see two men who wanted to follow Jesus, but had other obligations they would rather fulfil first. They wanted to serve Jesus on their own time and convenience. And so do many of us.

Our excuses for not following Jesus can be justified in our own minds and wills. Matthew knew in a moment that Jesus’ love was worth forsaking all else instantly. His yes to Jesus would prove to cost him everything on this side, but gained him an earthly discipleship and eternity with Jesus.

I want to rise up like Matthew and seek Him. I want to respond when Jesus says,”Bailey, follow me”. I don’t want to be torn with what I’m currently doing to ignore Him when He asks me to follow. Truth is that Jesus has already asked me to follow Him, to choose Him. Those are some other words in red ;) Today I want to focus on what it would look like to follow Him. To follow Him on a daily basis. To not wake up everyday assuming that what He said yesterday applies to today. To not presume that the way I found His presence before is how I’ll find Him again. I want to be flexible to lay down all of my agendas to follow Him. I want a heart of love that obeys.

Matthew traded in what anyone can do and gained what very very few got to do in following the Son of God during His earthly ministry. I believe his rising to the occasion to follow Jesus was worth it.

What are you following?

“We will be lay down lovers…we want to go where nobody has gone before. We want to do what nobody’s done before…”

Day 3–Words in RED

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:44-45

I remember the first time I ever heard John Bevere preach he said,” the only people Jesus ever commanded us to pray for were our enemies.” He went on to quote this verse and say something to the effect that we can absolutely pray for other people, the lost, our families and friends, but how much more should we pray for those Jesus commanded us to? Those people would be our enemies.

Who constitutes as an enemy you might ask? If you’re in let’s say elementary school, that’s an easy one. Whoever makes fun of you, steals your snacks, tells you that you have coodies (spelling? It’s been a long time since I used that word ;-) ) & tells the teacher on you. As an adult, our friend Webster and his dictionary ;) define an enemy as,”one that is antagonistic to another ; especially : one seeking to injure, overthrow, or confound an opponent”. In the Greek it can mean people who hate you, but a broader definition would be people who hate God and are being influenced by the devil.

I clearly am not a theologian, but coming from personal experience, I believe one of the reasons Jesus commanded we pray for those who persecute us and spitefully use us is to keep our own hearts pure. People can do and say horrible things at times and wound us. If we allow the enemy to have his way, we become offended and cold towards the things of God. We develop ugly patterns of resentment, criticism, and judgement if our hearts remain broken.

If we are to stand against the enemy and his schemes, we must learn to live with unoffended hearts and pray for our accusers. While this may begin on a small scale, if properly applied, we will have pure hearts to stand in the face of persecution one day.

Of course we need to pray for our loved ones and those we know, but we must give special attention to these words in red. Who knows if the “Sauls” in our lives might become “Apostle Pauls” if we pray rightly.

Who can you pray for today?

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” Matthew 5:6 

This scripture is very dear to my heart. I read a lot of words in red today, but couldn’t settle on something to write for today. Then through a time of worship, I knew clearly I had to share this one.

I remember people at times telling me to “calm down” as it related to my passion for Jesus. I was told sometimes that I was just young and radical and that I would outgrow my zeal. Often I was misunderstood and felt stubborn when I didn’t agree with these statements. When I was told my standards were too high or that Jesus didn’t expect me to fast and pray I often believed them. Thankfully I have had others who’ve encouraged me and lived lives of great abandon to Jesus. Yet hearing conflicting words made my heart unsettled at times. Then one day I was sitting at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City and Misty Edwards was leading a devotional set. This means she was just singing worship solo with a keyboard. She had been singing some songs I am familiar with and then she went off into spontaneous song of edification. She sang words from God’s heart as if He was singing over us. The song said something to the effect, “some have said you’re stubborn. Others have told you to be calm, to be normal, to be thankful for what you have before you. Yet I’ve created you to hunger. You’re created to hunger to be filled, to be hungry to be filled, to be hungry to be filled…”

I began to weep. Up until that point, I’d restrained myself. I’d felt like there was a lid, a containment of what God had for me. That somehow I could only search His heart out to a certain extent. I could only find His presence to a degree and no more. I could only consecrate myself to a point and just be satisfied with compromise in ways. Those words broke something off of me. I received the blessing of my Father and beloved Savior that day to hunger and hunger and hunger and not be satisfied. I realized that day it’s not ok to be satisfied with the mediocrity that often comes with Christian culture and teachings. For the first time I really felt joy of The Lord to just keep seeking and consecrating myself and not feeling like I had to apologize for it.

This scripture is such an encouragement to me. Not every season looks like glorious encounters in His presence. Yet even in the dry times, if we thirst, Jesus promises we will be filled. I have had times where I spent hours and hours in His presence and in prayer. Many times I’ve been the last person to leave a service or stay up into the early morning hours with Him. I’ve never wasted a moment of my time when I’ve sought Him. It’s those times when I was so hungry and was filled that have sustained me in the difficult times and reminded me of how much I am in need of Him.

I bless you to be hungry to be filled to be hungry to be filled with His righteousness and His love for you.

“Jesus I am Yours and forever I want nothing more than to be with You.”

“Strip everything away until all I have is You. I will pursue You…”

Words in RED–Day 1

Blog—
Words in Red—Day 1 

I felt last night that for the month of June I needed to focus on “the words in red”, or the quotes of Jesus found in the Bible. I decided to write down some thoughts and verses as I study this month and share with you via my blog.

I opened my YouVersion app and the scripture of the day happened to be some words in red, so I decided to use this one.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.””John 13:34-35

“All will know…IF you have love for one another…” There’s a condition in that statement. All people will know that we are following Jesus IF we love one another. Putting that into context that would require us walking in love with our neighbor, our co workers, our family, and fellow Christians. Often, I have been in scenarios and around situations where the later is negated. While it’s easy to not walk in love with any given person on occasion, I find sometimes it’s easier to love and extend grace to those outside of the body of Christ. It’s not as simple to look at a fellow brother or sister in The Lord and extend grace when they make mistakes.

I’ve seen several negative articles and posts recently about certain well know ministers and issues among believers. I’m not writing to defend anyone or anything in particular as I believe we must test all the spirits and not be deceived. I can also see from a Christian worldview how unhealthy some Western theology can be at times at hindering healthy discipleship and evangelism in the nations. I have however experienced the good, the great, the bad and the ugly in ministry and I’ve come to know people are just that, people. Furthermore I can say that some of the ugliest things said and done to me have been by other believers. I’m sure my words have been curt and my actions have proved ridiculous at times and resulted in wounding others. No one is perfect and we all need help in becoming more and more like the One we say we are following. We all need grace and most importantly we need the love of God. I don’t think publicly or privately bashing one another helps in the spread of His love. Particularly when others are watching our interactions.

As believers we aren’t going to necessarily find this unconditional love from angry coworkers or isolated neighbors. We should however be able to find the love of God from those who are brothers and sisters in Christ. When Jesus said the words in the passage above, it was said to his disciples about how he desires that they might love one another. That the world would observe how they cared for, rallied around, and extended grace to one another and then realize it was an empowerment only from Christ. Jesus also knew the persecution that would lie ahead for those men and the others who would follow Him. He knew only love would bind them together to display His truth to the world.

May the love of Christ continue to grow in our hearts and lives. That our hearts would receive His perfect love so that we might see others through the eyes of love. May our actions reflect love. And may we, as believers and followers of Christ so join in serving and loving one another that a lost world finds hope in a love beyond human capability.

Interrupted Dinner

I watched her tall figure shrink into a small stature as she rounded the corner from the smoke filled air she had just departed. My brain rushed to take in what we had walked in upon.

We had just eaten dinner at a restaurant we enjoy frequently. It’s been a bit of an oasis for us and a guaranteed consistent quality service and food. We had a bit of a challenging day and thought we’d take it easy and let someone else prepare our food. The ambiance is always delightful with the lit pool amidst the palm trees. The only thing unappealing was the canard (or duck) small plate that was complimentarily served. Gag!

When dinner was over, we decided to venture to the rest of the grounds of the hotel. We had eaten here earlier this week with some friends visiting from Kenya. Their youngest child of 17years was with them and he ventured off to see this beautiful hotel units. We had never left the dining hall or pool area and the air is so perfect tonight so we decided to go for a walk. That’s when we saw her.

While other guests were dining, she was leaving her client and headed to who knows where. Once we saw her we knew she was up to no good. The clothes were so tight and left little to the imagination. She rounded the corner and quickly exchanged her 6”heels for some practical flip flops for her journey home. She tugged down her shirt and let down her hair some. It seems she’d played the part and was now resuming normal appearance.

Completely disgusted and in shock, we continued on the pathway towards the man she’d just left. He was now smoking and drinking from a large bottle of hard liquor. I wanted to throw up and hide from his appearance. Matter of fact I said out loud repeatedly not caring if he knew English that I was going to throw up! We walked back towards the well lit area of the street connecting the buildings as quickly as possible and my eyes searched for her. There she went walking down a narrow alleyway disappearing into the night. I kept my eyes glued upon her until I could see her no more. Stephen knew why I’d stopped and gently whispered for me to keep walking. I couldn’t though. I couldn’t even pray. I just let my heart sink and my eyes grow weary.

I know this goes on probably thousands of times everyday here. I see what some call the “Father Abraham Club” with the old often French/European men and the young Malagasy women. Yet most public displays I witness are marriages of such age differences, not hotel hook ups. I’ve been in other parts of the world and walked past brothels, prostitutes, and stayed in hotels where men have paid off women in the lobbies. It’s not like I don’t know what’s going on, but tonight this was close to home. There are women on the streets selling themselves nearby my house. But this is a place I’ve gone to get away from all of that. To have some sanity in the chaos of living here. And here in my “comfort zone” was this scenario.

God likes to interrupt me when I’m feeling comfortable and reveal His heart. Just when I get comfy, He stops me usually abruptly and shows an area where His light ceases to exist. He finds me when I’m trusting in my own abilities and empowers me with His grace. Tonight in a place I’ve called a refuge, I was confronted by the gross darkness of sin. I was reminded of why light must shine in darkness.

I watched as this young woman walked away from such a scenario. Questions filled my mind. Where would she go next? Has she been so filled with lies and lust from others that she is numb to a possibility of real love? I turned and leaned into my husband’s embrace. My husband who saved himself for me not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. It made our disagreements and challenges seem so small. Why do my arms find love and peace and hers find lust and abuse?

I’m thankful for those moments where I’m pricked with the sting of death around me and remember the hope for which I am called. It’s not easy to be confronted with real life. It’s messy and in your face sometimes, but it is necessary to compel us to be His hands and feet in a hurting world.

May God arise and let His enemies be scattered!

Reasons That Keep Us From The Cross

Inspired by reflecting on the Easter story, I am writing this blog tonight. I’m thinking back to the productions I’ve been a part of and the noted difference of the disciples and who followed Christ to the end. Below are 3 reasons I believe they could’ve caused them not to follow and are reasons we are capable of falling into.

1. We’re afraid of the consequences of what others might do to us.

Scoffers were at the foot of the cross. Surely the centurions weren’t silent in their slaughtering displays. I often wonder why the other disciples weren’t there. What was it that compelled John and Mary Magdalene to follow so closely? It’s understandable that a good mother who loved her son would be near, but even at the risk of her own life is amazing. I think these three knew Him in such a way, understood His heavenly purpose in such a way that they had to draw near. They had already given up all else at this point and had nothing to lose. They were surely mocked at, frowned upon and resented by others. Yet there they were at the foot of the cross, beholding the One who loved them. They drowned out all of the other voices and beheld the voice of the One they gave all to follow.
I wonder how often our thoughts of others keep us from drawing near to the cross?

2. We are afraid of what the future holds if we are found with Him.

Peter, a follower of Christ denies Jesus in His darkest hour. When confronted with accusation, instead of identifying with the Son of God and His righteous stand, we find this disciple cursing His name. Where were the 9 close disciples that night? Where did they scurry off to? Were they hiding in hopes they wouldn’t be found out also? Were they trying to secure future plans now that their ideal world of following Christ didn’t manifest? Were they making preparations to go back into tax collecting and catching fish since that was an area of comfort to them?

Likewise, how often do we deny the cross of Christ because it’s inconvenient to our way of living, to our plans, and to our pride?

3. We know that the true revelation of the One who was slain would change us entirely.

It was ok for the disciples to follow Jesus as long as He was the hero in the stories. Who doesn’t want to be around a good man and a qualified leader? Who doesn’t get a thrill seeing miracles take place? The crowds would gather to hear Jesus speak, so you know His words compelled others. So why did this man have so few who stood with Him at His death? Why did those who were closest to Him not even stand with Him in prayer before he was taken at the hands of the soldiers? It’s easy to stand for Him on a superficial level. Anyone can stand in the back of a church, read their bibles and pray. Few then and few now can face Him in His moment of greatest sacrifice. Many who don’t know Him as Lord, but know what He did chalk Him up to simply be, “a good man”, “prophet”, “teacher” etc.. People can say many good things about Christ, but if we never truly behold Him as the sacrificial lamb of God, the Savior of the world, the Redeemer of our sins, we aren’t truly embracing the cross.

I’ve only acted as Mary Magdelene at Easter time, but I promise you every. single. performance. was marked by hysterical tears that were not of an acting skill. I remember a dress rehearsal where the director had stopped the run and I couldn’t stop wailing. Embarrassed, I lay down about two stories in the air on the platform of the cross and let my heart brake. A friend was playing Jesus and wasn’t even in the makeup display of blood and wounds, yet the reality of what could’ve been seen that day hit me.

I know that every day presents it’s own challenges. I more often can relate to one of the other disciples or people who heard His message than either Mary or John. Yet my heart longs to be there with my Lord Jesus at the cross. To see what He did for me. To be reminded that when I signed up for this life of following Him, it’s unto the end. That making Him Lord doesn’t excuse me from taking up my own cross, but that to identify with Christ is to know Him more.

Let me leave you with this thought. In going through productions as Mary Magdalene, my absolute favorite part was when Jesus appeared to me out of the empty tomb!!! Those who follow Him to the cross may feel the greatest sorrows at times, but they also experience the greatest joys of His resurrection!

Happy Easter! May you embrace the cross of Christ! :-)

One Hot Mess

There are things in life that you can prepare yourself to embrace. For instance, I know that every time we leave our house and get off of the dirt road onto the cobblestone road, I will be shaken back and forth in the car. I brace myself for this. I can’t always prepare for things like the man walking down the cobblestone road carrying what looks like a dead body which ends up being an upside down mannequin legs. Yes, that happened yesterday and caught me by surprise!

Along with Mr. Malagasy legs, we received some news about a family situation that we couldn’t have prepared for. We prayed and things seem to have resolved thankfully, but in the moment you receive bad news, you aren’t always prepared .

Yesterday, we were prepared to go visit this nearby tourist area where they have animals, mainly reptiles. There are hundreds of crocodiles there in various ponds for their various sizes. There are all kinds and sizes of chameleons and you can even find lemurs! We were lucky enough to see 5 sifika type lemurs. They are so neat and come close if you feed them ripe guavas from the surrounding trees. I was a bit hesitant to feed them because they reach out and grab the fruit from your hands, but I successfully fed them and I was glad that I did.

What I was unprepared for was divinely meeting about 15 young Malagasy adults. It was obvious from our passing by these young people that they were quite friendly. They greeted us and were laughing and having a good time. The only Malagasy word I caught was Facebook (that counts right?! ;) ). When we were about to exit the park, we both felt strongly that we were to interact further with them and invite them to the young adult services we are working with. When we asked if they were university students, they were quick to inform us that they were in fact artists :-) We shared how we just noticed they were young adults and we were working with university age students and wanted to invite them to a Christian meeting. They quickly cut Stephen off and pointed to the only two males in the group and said, “but they are gay”. Stephen replied, “that’s ok, Jesus loves gay people”. Then the conversations began. They invited us to sit down with them while they indulged in liquor mixed with cokes, juices, and we drank water :) For a moment a few of them tested us with several questions and in their Malagasy mindsets, they wanted to know what KIND of Christians we were. We shared that we had relationship with Jesus and that it wasn’t about being religious, but pursuing Him with all aspects of our lives. They were curious and kept refilling our water cups while offering us to share their food that came. We talked about all of their arts of singing, performing, designing and of course the ever so interesting dance moves our brother displayed for us.

I LOVE my generation and I see such similarities in the “youth culture” around the world. These particular Malagasy 20-somethings were obviously wealthy, well clothed and all portrayed different drastic fashion statements which varies from the youth I’ve met so far. My heart broke as I heard some stories of theirs. Normally I wouldn’t feel awkward and out of place talking to other 20 somethings, but with the language barrier, I found myself smiling and making eye contact as if I understood and would wait for Stephen’s sometimes translations. Here were young people so freely opening their hearts, time, fellowship and food with us without any hesitation. I hoped we were just as welcoming and loving.

As we were excusing ourselves and about to depart this crocodile farm, they decided they would leave with their new “America” friends as they said…not AmericaN. Turns out that they had all crammed in one vehicle and asked if we drive a few of them up to the main road. So we obliged hoping for future conversations with a few of them. In came two very strong personality girls and the two young men. Conversations and questions of America, self-worth, and finding God filled our car as we winded down the bumpy red dirt road to the cement tarmac. Hunger filled their eyes and I pray that they saw a glimpse that Jesus’ love is real. As we dropped them off at a local pizza place, we got out of the car and said goodbyes and I exchanged Facebook information with one of the girls.

We drove away and our hearts broke more for our generation. More for the lost. More for the hurting. More for the ones who don’t feel welcome in the “church”. Ones who are desperate to find their identity in the One who created them, but don’t know how. I wasn’t prepared for meeting them, but I’m glad that on an afternoon date with my husband, that my paths crossed theirs. I pray we meet again and that I meet more like them in the days ahead. I want to find the orange dyed hair, skinny jean wearing, smoking, drinking, cussing, sinful young people and show them that Jesus is for them and has created them unique. That these “artists” were in fact created by the greatest Artist of all. That there is freedom from sin and destruction in their lives and love and acceptance in the love of Christ.

Sometimes my life is one hot mess. That day I’d only slept for a couple of hours. Even if I could speak French or Malagasy, I’m sure I would’ve forgotten that day. I couldn’t do much in that situation, but I could love. It would be easy to just look at their lives and say that they were a hot mess. It’s easy to judge, but harder to interact. The reality is that the church, or body of Christ at large can be one hot mess at times too. We don’t have it all together and often we’re so isolated from those in the world that we don’t even know how to say hi to a young gay guy showing off his dance moves. This shouldn’t be so. We are to be Jesus’ hands, feet, and voice in this earth. The gospel isn’t just words, but actions. We as “christians” are “little Christs”, Jesus’ only hope for His love to manifest in this world. May our hearts be broken for these ones. In the midst of everyone else’s agendas, may we have the agenda of Christ…”to seek and save that which was lost.”

Here is a paraphrase post I saw from speaker and author Christine Cain, who spoke at ORU last night…
“If a baby is brought out of the womb before it’s time, that baby has to be on life support for an extended period of time just to keep him or her alive. Likewise, the church in its origination was divinely designed to thrive in the womb of the world as we were connected to the umbilical cord of the Holy Spirit, giving us the life we needed. Unfortunately, somewhere along the line we as a church left the womb of the world where we were meant to flourish as salt and light, and now we have countless churches across the world who are simply on ‘life support’.”

Lord, help us get back in the womb.