Stephen and I needed to do a layover in Europe on our way back to the States to break up the travel on my back. We usually fly from Nairobi to Amsterdam on KLM and it seemed like a reasonable place to stop. I have never left an airport in Europe, so this was my first time to technically be “in Europe”. I was excited! We have some friends there and found a great deal on a hotel, so we booked a night at Holiday Inn Express Schipol. Don’t think about this chain in America because it can’t even remotely begin to compare to how nice of a facility this place was, the luxury of the interior, the huge breakfast buffet, and the excellence of the staff. There are free shuttles to and from the airport and the drive is a maximum 10 minutes from the airport. We arrived at 6am and had to wait a few hours for a clean room as they had been fully booked the previous night. We enjoyed a long breakfast and enjoyed being back in a 1st World Country again, although I was a bit overwhelmed by the culture shock.
This was the first sign I wasn’t in a 3rd world country anymore–#shareacoke
Note to self: I won’t be naming my children Bertha :)
We were so hungry even after our breakfast because we had been traveling for a day and had taken a 4 hour nap. We decided to go into town and we ventured into this adorable cheese store and sampled TONS of cheese which filled us up :) Our favorites were a garlic and aged gouda.
Then we met up with our friends who used to be our neighbors in Madagascar. They’re both from The Netherlands and are back home for some time right now, so it was a perfect chance to see them and get a tour of Amsterdam!
They took us out to dinner at a nice Brazilian steakhouse and then on a boat tour of the city. It’s definitely worth an hour of your time to take a tour!
Sometimes I can’t get SK to take a serious pic…this is 1 in a series of 3 that are similar ;)
“NO Bicycles please! They will be removed”…but clearly not the case ;)
We were grateful to get some quality rest and to spend time with these sweet friends! The picture on the left below are drawings their two kids made for us. They’re some of our favorite little people in the world!
**If pictures appear sideways or upside down, this is due to a glitch in the mobile interface of this blog. If viewed in a desktop/laptop computer, the display should be fine. I’m working with the template to correct this problem!
This morning as I walked into one of our supporting churches here in Tulsa, Foundations Church, the worship team was playing, “Oceans” by Hillsong. While I’m sure that this is a favorite worship song for many, it holds a really special place in my heart. It was a little over a year ago that Stephen preached at this church on a Sunday at the end of a really hard month for me. I’d been having tremors and all kinds of physical issues and it was really frightening because here I was trying to prepare to be a missionary to Africa! That morning was the very first time that I heard the song “Oceans” and I just wept and wept. This song eventually became a theme song for me as we moved to Madagascar, since it encouraged me and I was moving to an island in the middle of…you guessed it, an OCEAN ;)
This morning when the song began to play as I walked into service (a few minutes late lol), my heart swelled. As I sang lyrics like, “where feet may fail and fear surrounds me, You’ve never failed and You won’t start now…”, I clung to Stephen’s arm and just cried. This season has gone every way but the way I “thought” it would. Yet here I was back home, in God’s presence and it was as if He orchestrated the worship team to sing this song just for me ;) Clearly many LOVE this song, so that may not be why the worship team chose to sing it haha, but I’ve often found God meet me in moments like this and give me one of His HUGS. I feel His presence surround me like a cloak and I can literally feel my cares being cast upon Him.
He is always with me and continually speaking His word over my life and breathing love, joy and peace into me. I’m just not always fully aware of it. I love the God Hug moments with Him where I am forced to stop in my tracks and let my breath be taken away. I love the sunsets He’s created for me. The special times in worship. The thoughtfulness of a friend who points me to His love. The soft whispers to my heart that only He can say. He knows me and that fact overwhelms me at times. He knows how to show His nearness and that comforts my weary soul.
“And there I find You in the mystery…in oceans deep, my faith will stand.” I don’t know why things happen sometimes, how things will be tomorrow, or even how the day will go today; but it’s in those moments of “mystery”, in the unexplained times of my life where I’m searching for answers that I find Him. I would prefer to find Him in the planned, organized and perfect aspects of life (do those exist??… because SIGN ME UP!), but it’s so like God to meet me in the mystery and encourage my faith. I guess if the ocean didn’t rise, I wouldn’t need His rescuing love. I’m thankful. I trust and I lean into His hug :-)
Just as the song says, “When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace, for I am Yours and You are mine”, He embraces us in the waves of life.
Open up your heart and let Him love on you today! Just call upon His name and watch as He meets you where you are. He meets you in your praise. He meets you in your doubts. He meets you in your stumbling feet, and He lifts you above the storms and brings you to a place of rest where you are full of faith in Him. He’ll even orchestrate a worship song just to love on you;-) (thanks FC worship team!)
“I will call upon Your name and keep my eyes above the waves…”
I want to start this entry by removing the “elephant” in the room (which is only appropriate because I’m in Africa ;) ) and say that the challenges that I’ve faced with my health have definitely created an unusual first few months on the field. Instead of settling in and immersing myself in learning languages and a new culture, I was chasing doctors and trying to get out of pain. That being said, there has been a lot of unplanned events, however God has done great things and taught me a lot. Here’s some humorous pictures to illustrate how I feel followed by what I’ve learned in my first 6th months as a missionary in Africa.
#1–I confirmed my hatred for bugs…Yes it’s true! I’m a girly girl and while I already couldn’t stand bugs, I’ve confirmed that there is indeed a hatred for them and I’m sure I’ll be asking God one day in Heaven what the purpose of creating them was. The top of my list of questioning is anything that stings, then the newly acquainted bed bugs, closely followed by mosquitoes, safari ants and last by certainly NOT least, cockroaches.
#2—Carpet is now weird to me.
Tonight was the first time in 6 months that my feet touched carpet and it was really REALLY weird! I didn’t even know why I stopped walking and felt weird for a minute or so and then I realized it was because I was on carpet. Everything I’ve walked on has been tile, wood, or rocks.
#3—I have an appreciation for simplicity.
I downsized significantly when we moved to Madagascar. We bought basic things that we would need to live there, but for the most part I had to detach myself from a lot of things and come to terms that it was all just “stuff”. When we came to Kenya for only an intended 8 day trip that then lasted for 10 weeks due to medical reasons, I learned that less is more and I really CAN survive on minimal clothes, no computer, my every day items, etc. We stayed in 10 difference places and being ill in all of that transition was difficult, but certainly not impossible. When we went home to Madagascar at the beginning of July, I was actually overwhelmed with how much I really did have. I sat on the floor in my bedroom more than once and cried because I didn’t know how to decide what to wear. Now that I’m back in Kenya with yet again only one piece of luggage, I’m learning to not hold onto anything I own and it’s freeing in a way. God has continually provided over and over for Stephen and I in our nearly two years of being married and we’ve never lacked in anything from furniture to food. In going through testing, my attachment to material things has changed so much. Just when I think I’m missing out or start to desire things on this Earth, God surprises me with something of more eternal value.
#4–Opportunity is EVERYWHERE!
No matter what difficulty might have been going on personally, people who need Jesus have always surrounded me. This has caused me to continually pour out love. We’ve seen God touch hearts at gas stations, restaurants, hospitals, doctors’ offices and in church services. I just happen to be in Africa, but you don’t have to travel far to bring hope into someone’s life. People need Jesus all around you in everyday situations that you find yourself in.
#5–Being myself is all I need to be.
I stepped into this season feeling uncomfortable in so many ways. I faced leaving all that was near and dear; my hometown, my own background of ministry, my friends and family. I lacked full-time missions experience in comparison to my husband who is a linguistic and is in my opinion a stellar missionary. I compared myself to other missionary women who have raised grown kids, lived overseas for many years, were skilled in sewing, and great cooks. I’m not a Susie Homemaker or from the denomination that I’m currently working for and I felt awkward. To add to this, as a missionary, you’re trying to adapt to a new culture and learn new languages. The art of comparison was a daily challenge and I felt pressured to change who I was. I’m still learning all kinds of new things and I love learning and growing, but I’ve learned most to be content to be who God created me to be. If God wanted to raise me any other way or with any other background and skill set, He would’ve done so. When I operate in insecurity and pressure, I can’t contribute my God-given uniqueness to an environment…and let’s be honest; I will just be really awkward ;) I have my weaknesses, my quirks and shortcomings, but even in this I have to allow God to work on me and through me. If I’m not being true to myself, I’ll fail to represent God rightly to others.
#6—I often miss weird things about home.
The other day I literally daydreamed about donuts…((GAGS))! I can not even tell you the last time that I had one which was 4 or more years ago. There is absolutely no way if I was in the States that I’d get near a donut and be tempted, but literally I desired it the other day. I need help people—keep praying for me! ;) I find that I often miss odd things like that which symbolize home or wish I was home to participate in things that I probably wouldn’t have even done if I was there.
#7–I LOVE PEOPLE….
Seriously I’m the type of person that HAS to interact with others. I work better when I am around people. I’ve always thrived in jobs where I was interacting with others. This season of very limited Internet and most of my relationships being thousand of miles away has been more than challenging. I’ve found myself even today completely STARVED for social interactions and upon meeting up with an old friend I just want to chat chat chat. If I come home and talk even more than usual, please extend some grace ;) I’ve been in new culture and foreign languages where I pantomime most of the time…and talk to my sweet patient husband all day. What do I miss most about home? People. What is the best part of every day? People. I guess this just means that I am in the right job to serve and love people :) But really…I need social interactions with peers!
#8–I have my dream job, but it’s not dreamy.
My pictures at the top describe how I feel often. But really, I’ve dreamed of being in Africa since I was a little girl and as a missionary for about a decade. It’s not that I romanticized it entirely, but I have found that I did to a degree. I’ve found that it’s not always easy to be far away from all that was comfortable and facing challenges that you’d never face back home. Yet at the end of the day it is fulfilling, as it’s what I’m supposed to be doing. I cry when I think of lost people around me, when I see them hurting, and when I hear stories that demand a response from God. It’s heartbreaking to continue to see pain and lost people and to know that not all will find salvation and freedom. This is why I know this dream to go to the nations is of God and not something that I dreamed up.
#9–Missions is as much for you as it is for me.
I’m not suggesting that everyone reading this is called to go into full-time missions, but I also don’t want to suggest that I’m specially qualified for this. In fact many of you would have slept more and functioned higher here than I have in this season ;) I’ve realized more than ever that I NEED Jesus absolutely EVERY moment of EVERY day. I’m not anyone who is qualified in a special way or permitted more grace than anyone else to be a missionary. God’s heart beats for missions and because I fell in love with His heart, my heart beats for it too. That’s why I am here in Africa and the same can apply to you wherever you are and whatever you’re doing. As a child of God, you too can be whoever He has called you to be by simply loving Him and obeying Him. If he calls you to move your life overseas and do missions work, you CAN do it! If you’re called to start a business or get a higher education to serve Him with, you CAN do it. There is grace to love Him freely and live for Him rightly even when it’s uncomfortable to our flesh and desires. We are living in a critical hour where MANY need to know of His great love no matter where we find ourselves in this world.
*Lastly, I’d like to say that #10—Steripods are a MUST!…they are little sterilizing non-toxic clips to put on your toothbrush bristles and…amen! No ant, cockroach, gecko etc., will crawl on your toothbrush! It is at the top of my list of things to stock up on in the USA :)
Just for more laughs, since SK is an MK (Missionary kid) here’s another pic
SK and I went to Zanzibar in mid-July. We had been in Kenya for a long time doing medical appointments and needed a few days getaway to clear our heads. Things were getting tense here with terrorist attacks, so we thought we’d get out of Kenya if we could find something affordable. Not to mention we’d been FREEZING for a couple of months, so all of Kenya’s tourist options nearby weren’t appealing. SK was talking to a friend who happens to live in Zanzibar and he told us to come over and see him. Zanzibar is an island off of the coast of Tanzania and just so happens to be where William and Kate went on their honeymoon! Stephen used to pastor a church in Dar Es Salaam so he would often take the ferry over to Zanzibar on his off days or take guests there. He has a few friends who live there so we decided to check airline prices. We went to a Kenya Airways ticket counter and for $200 less/person, you could fly at inconvenient times for $233/person. We snagged those tickets and flew out the same day! When we arrived, a monkey greeted us :)
This is what a traditional Zanzibar door looks like. You can buy little doors to take home as decor in the market.
We spent time with some friends, shopped in historic StoneTown, watched sunsets, checked out a couple of beaches, and went snorkeling. Here’s a recap of our trip in pictures and links for your info.
These are the places that we went to eat and our suggestions;
On Saturday we ate at a place called, “6 Degrees South”, which we thought was so clever to use the latitude in their location. You can normally view the ocean from their patio seating, but because it was Ramadan, they had covered the open viewing area as most locals are fasting. Thankfully we were not and got to partake in some yummy meals a few times. There have affordable delicious food and we can recommend the Pilau, passion fruit juice, coconut water out of a coconut, and SK’s favorite–the coconut banana milkshake! We went back one more time before departing.
What would normally be your view while dining;
The next day we decided to eat food at this Ethiopian Restaurant It’s located in Stone Town and an easy walk to the market. We just wouldn’t recommend the chicken. The taste was incredible, but nearly half of the meat was pure fat and you couldn’t chew it. This was my coffee escape…*sighs*
That evening we just ate at the forodhani where they cook in front of you. The chicken shawarmas were incredible!!! Also, we don’t eat gluten, but the Zanzibar Pizzas are quite an experience just to watch and nearly every stand makes them. If nothing else, grab a fresh fruit salad with your pick of fruit. BEWARE–there are a plethora of cats that will swarm your ankles for food!
The following day we ate at the across from the food stands in Stone Town. Again because it was Ramadan, most places weren’t open during the day and the restaurants didn’t open until usually 7pm. EVERYTHING that I ate here was absolutely incredible! They had a deal where you could get 3 courses, a starter which I had an unforgettable ginger chicken salad, a main course, where I had Swahili Chicken Curry, and the a dessert which was some vanilla ice cream with fruit. I’m not joking when I say that it was one of the best meals that I have ever had! The ambiance is really neat too and on occasion they have live music. We sat inside on the floor on a low table top and cushions. It made for a really pleasant dinner with a local friend of SK’s.
Places we explored;
Because we were only there for 5 days, we spent time with friends and walked through Stone Town most of the time. Our beach explorations could’ve been better planned, so here’s what to learn from us!
On Monday per our friend’s recommendation we drove down to Fumba Beach Lodge. This was a gorgeous and refreshing place to spend some time. They offered us a day pass as they weren’t at full occupancy and just asked that we pay in lunch and drinks. The food wasn’t great, hence why it wasn’t listed in my food recommendations, but the hamburger I had wasn’t bad :) It’s about a 25 minute drive from Stone Town and a great getaway for the day if you want to sit near the pool. The beaches on this side of the island aren’t thick, so there’s not a lot of lying on the beach opportunities.
On Tuesday we had planned to drive to the northern part of the island. We took a friend of SK’s with us, a local Tanzanian man and then we got pulled over by a cop. SK played dumb like he didn’t know Swahili, but inevitably we were singled out because of having a local with us and we had a long interruption to our day plans. We ended up turning around and heading back south after an hour’s drive because the cops would’ve kept stopping us and asking for bribes. So I quickly looked for signs to point to ANY type of beach view. I saw a sign for, “Sea Cliff”, so we went and checked it out! Saving grace for the day–we again got a day pass and enjoyed this lovely resort. The food here was absolutely terrible, but was “all-inclusive”, SO I drank 2 chocolate milks ;-) It was a bit more pricy at about $35/per person, but again if you love unlimited food and beverages, then it’s worth the price. We just wanted to soak up the beach and since we had free lodging, it wasn’t a bad deal. It’s called Sea Cliff for a reason as it sits on a large cliff overlooking the ocean, so again not much of a beach. There is a small area of sand and a few beach chairs. It’s quite expensive to lodge there and in my opinion, something up North or on the East Coast would be better worth for your money. UNLESS you love to see the sunset, because I’m sure it’s amazing!
Lastly, on our last day we went snorkeling. We borrowed some equipment from a friend and off we went! Stephen had gone many times around Zanzibar in the past and it’s one of his favorite things to go do. After a close encounter with a barracuda in Dominican Republic 7 years ago, it’s not so much one of my favorite things.
Below are pictures of our time at the Fort and Stone Town. We loved our few days of getting away and enjoying warm weather–its warm year round, so if you’re ever in this part of the world and want a nice place to go–the Kuerts and the Royal William and Kate recommend it!
In coming across a well spread article on modesty, I began to have some red flags go off in me while reading it. While I’m sure the author is a Jesus-loving lady, I disagreed largely with her thoughts and I wanted to share some thoughts of my own taken from my journey regarding modesty.
While I didn’t grow up attending church and being taught on biblical modesty, I was taught self-value. I may not have entered a church at 2 years old, but I did enter the dance studio. Which means that as I grew, I took on my parent’s tall lean build and my “Dance Team” cheer skits were often shorter than others. My identity was formed in a typical MTV generation culture where women were viewed as sexual objects. Being raised in a time where media showed unfaithfulness, fornication, pornography, and impossible standards of beauty for women, what else was I to think? I didn’t know any better and I longed to be found beautiful by the opposite sex. This caused a long hard road of heartache, but out of it came great redemption from the love of God and his beautiful plan for my life to be pure and pleasing to Him. It is because of my experience in the freedom of Christ that I share these questions with you.
#1 Is There a Clear Line Regarding Christian Modesty?
Don’t worry! I’m not going to tell you that a way to measure modesty is by the “hallelujah” test where you raise your arms to see if your shirt is too short (an embarrassing and ridiculous test if you ask me—just wear long layers underneath your top). Nor am I going to give you a list of dos and don’ts. Instead I want to challenge us to think, ask questions, and seek to be those who fully love God.
The short answer to this question is no, there isn’t a clear line which is why there are so many views on this topic. I’m not saying that I have all the answers, but I feel it’s important to start by looking at what Scripture has to say about this topic.
1 Peter 3:3-5 says, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.”
1 Timothy 2:9-10 says, “I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.”
It appears that both Peter and Paul were on the same page and I agree with them. I believe that all scripture is from God and that woman should dress as to reflect Jesus properly. I believe these scriptures equally mean that we shouldn’t be materialistic or obsessed with our outward appearance and our wardrobe. I also believe that there are some absolutes when it comes to modesty such as not having your breasts and other private parts hanging out (in a Western context, more on this later). Beyond the absolutes though in regards to manner of dress AND disposition of personality, I personally believe that daughters of God must listen to the Bible and to the conviction of the Holy Spirit themselves.
The reality is that someone could submit pictures to me of a woman wearing a particular outfit and I could give my personal opinion or even submit it before a panel of Christian men and get their opinion. If we all deemed the outfit inappropriate, one might be motivated not to wear it. However, until a person desires to please the Lord for himself or herself and listen to Him, they won’t have the personal conviction and proper motivation to please Him by what they wear and how they act.This is in my opinion where legalism can come into play and why many rebel against the “standards” that are set by others. It is one thing to comply with a dress code for a job or for a church service, but unless someone comes to a mature place to understand what pleases Jesus, they’ll often view these dress codes as legalistic and thus miss an opportunity to see His views.
The place modesty should start is in serving Jesus, not ourselves. When we get our focus on serving Jesus, we will seek to be pleasing to Him in all that we do. In so doing this we can eliminate the mentality of, “How close can I get to the line without crossing it?” and the attitude of flaunting our wardrobe and accessories. We can then be empowered to be as abandoned to the will of God as possible and become what God has always desired, a heart that is fully His. A heart that chooses Him, honors Him, and one that is quick to repent of sin and be near to Him. It’s important to know that Jesus doesn’t condemn us and shame us into submitting to His ways, BUT He will correct us and lead us into righteousness for His name’s sake as we choose to do His will. (Psalm 23:3) I say this to clarify that Jesus delights in us doing His will and doesn’t beat us up when we sin. He loves and takes pleasure in helping us mature in righteousness and become more like Him.
I’d like to say too that modesty is more than just our outward appearance. Modest clothing doesn’t always equal modest behavior. Any woman or man can be fully clothed and still be operating in a seductive and lustful spirit. By contrast, someone else may not be modestly dressed, but they might have a genuine heart to seek God and aren’t aware of how to dress. As believers we can teach and share with others, but it is not our place to judge based on non-absolutes that aren’t clearly defined in Scripture. Which brings me to my next point…
#2 Are We Teaching on Modesty in the Right Spirit?
I stated earlier that my “cheer skirts” were short. School dress code prohibited shorts or other skirts to be any shorter than fingertip length with arms fully extended by your side. Therefore due to my genetically long monkey arms, my fingertip length for shorts/skirts was considered “dorky” back then and I would’ve been made fun of mercilessly. When summer time came with no school restrictions on my outfits, I typically wore “short shorts” and tank tops where my midriff showed some. Where I’m from in Tulsa, Oklahoma, it gets into the 100s and the less you wore, the more comfortable you were. That was all I knew.
When I made Jesus the Lord of my life my junior year of High School at 16 years old, much changed in my life. I was so hungry for God, I attended church a few times a week, read my bible everyday, but I was still a baby in Christ and had plenty to learn (and I still do!).
Often after youth group, some of us would go for Tex-Mex and I’d get free food like chips and pop from the waiters. I’ve always had a strong personality, a deep love for people that caused me to talk to everyone, and then there’s my vibrant red hair. This combination definitely caused me to be noticed more than I realized. At this stage in life I didn’t have a strong identity in Christ, nor did I realize that I was drawing impure attention from men. I knew I wasn’t sleeping around and wearing super revealing clothes so I thought that in comparison with other girls, I was doing great! I just couldn’t see my blind spot.
One day during my senior year of High School, I had a talk with some of my male youth leaders that changed my life forever. They spoke with me about my strong personality and how that combined with how I dressed, men were turning their heads and giving me attention that wasn’t pure. These leaders shared the struggles men have with sexual sin and it helped me understand the realities of lust. They celebrated my leadership “command the room” type personality, my desire to connect with people, and they helped me find a righteous balance. They spoke in such a tender Spirit led way that I didn’t walk away feeling ashamed. Instead I left the conversation feeling beautiful and I desired to protect the beauty that God had placed within me. Their talk left me realizing that my personality gave me an opportunity to point people to Jesus and that put a joyous responsibility on me and it is partially why I’m secure in who I am today.
There were other love centered rebukes in the years that followed and I appreciated the insight and the correction that came with being held to a righteous standard. However, there were a few other instances where I was told in rather harsh ways that what I was wearing wasn’t proper and even that the way that I swayed my hips in worship could be distracting for men. Those moments always left me feeling embarrassed and degraded rather than corrected in love. For a short while I became more focused on how I moved while worshipping Jesus, than focused on actually worshipping Jesus.
The point in sharing these two examples is to emphasize the contrast of confrontations. One group sought to turn what God had given me, a people loving outgoing personality, into a pure hearted and modest awareness that displayed Christ; whereas the other sought to correct an outward appearance based on personal opinion without welcoming the love of God into the situation.
I think that as believers we MUST meet people where they are and speak in love. We can’t assume that they’ve had the best examples growing up or that they understand their new identity in Christ. I believe there is a way to teach modesty to women and men in a way that helps them fall more in love with Jesus and who He’s created them to be. I often think of how Jesus treated the woman caught in adultery in John chapter 8 with tenderness and empowerment to walk away from a place of sin with renewed hope. This approach can cultivate a desire for one to yield themselves to Him not only in their outward appearance, but also in a manner of heart.
#3 Have We Become Victims to Culture and Society?
There are common mentalities in the world today that provide opportunities for people to not own responsibility for their actions or to be held accountable to a moral compass that sets boundaries. Simply put, people don’t like to be told what to do. These ideologies have crept into the church and have given believers an excuse to do as they please instead of being accountable to God. If we profess to follow Christ, the Bible should be our final word of authority, not the society around us. I believe that when our desire is to please the Lord in every area of our lives, He will help us. As believers, we must all become responsible for our actions and our attitudes. When we stand before God one day He isn’t going to ask how many people made us stumble. He will ask if we partnered with His word to overcome the temptations we found ourselves in and if we turned away from sin.
I had plenty of excuses with my MTV background and my flirty skirts to play victim to circumstance. I faced plenty of temptations in the area of sexual sin as well as being involved in impure relationships in my teen years. Instead of remaining in a place of hurt and insecurity, I sought the Lord, read His word, and invited His loving correction into my life. I’m grateful as this turn of heart caused me to experience freedom and I ended up marrying a holy, Jesus-loving man, whose heart towards me is pure.
My husband grew up as a missionary in East Africa and as a single man, he was a missionary in Burundi. This offered him unique insight into modesty as it relates to cultural differences. Almost every time he would preach in a church in Burundi, women would begin to openly breastfeed their babies. I understand that this varies from the typical American church service where women would never do this, but in Africa and many parts of the world this is completely normal. Hello—hungry babies + moms hungry for word of God=breastfeeding in service and anywhere for that matter. So here was my husband having prayed and prepared a word, continually faced with the onslaught of up close and personal breasts as he preached. He said to me, “It wasn’t their fault that their babies are hungry and that they chose to feed them during service. It was my responsibility to have my flesh crucified so that I was only looking to Jesus and focused on what He wanted to say to the people. There was no excuse to entertain lust just because there was an opportunity for it, for I’m accountable to God’s Word.” I realize most men aren’t going to be preaching in a cultural context like Burundi, but the same principle applies if they see a woman dressed improperly or if presented with pornography.
There are natural chemical responses in our bodies that manifest physically when faced with a sexual temptation. Particularly for men being more visual than women, they can get an adrenaline rush just from seeing a woman’s body. I agree that it’s not their fault that their bodies are made to respond like that because in the context of marriage it is wonderful and holy. HOWEVER, it is the man’s responsibility to deal with their response to culture and society in a way that glorifies God just as much as it is for a woman to dress and behave in a way that glorifies God. This means glorifying God both inwardly in their thought life as well as outwardly by turning away their eyes. The influence of the world doesn’t give believers the right to play victim to unrighteousness. We are held to the same Biblical standards regardless of others actions.
#4 Are We Protecting the Hearts of Others?
When people dress or act inappropriately it is often rooted in insecurity from a lack of identity in Christ. This insecurity produces selfishness that can lead to pressures to compete and compare with others, which can ultimately lead to compromise. If we honor the opposite sex selflessly as brothers and sisters in Christ, then we have an opportunity to mature in our identity in Him. This produces a pure heart that wants to protect others.
Proper identity in Christ as a son or daughter teaches us to honor, love, and protect those around us by treating them as we would the Lord Himself.
When a person reaches a place where they love the opposite sex purely and serve them with the heart of Christ instead of operating out of insecurity, God releases maturity into their hearts that can carry them into a healthy marriage. My single years taught me to be a sister to other men and to keep my heart guarded for the man I’d marry someday. Holding to this posture as a married or single person can help us create safe environments for godly relationships to flourish so that we can purely partner together for His kingdom.
#5 Have We Truly Experienced the Freedom in Christ that Sets Us Apart from this World?
Unrighteousness living presents “freedom” as being whoever we want to be and doing whatever feels good. The freedom in Christ produces what others could view as “restrictions”, but it ultimately gives us authentic liberty. Modesty isn’t limiting who we are; rather it’s releasing us into who God made us to be. Let me say to all the ladies reading this; there is incredible beauty in being a daughter of God. There is likewise a heavy burden in being a daughter of this world enslaved to what others define as beautiful.
When I read the blog that I mentioned in my intro, I was sitting in an Islamic context with women physically covered up all around me. This could be why the blog struck me as so bizarre as it conveyed that the more covered up a woman was; then the less men would lust, which I disagree with. I don’t know if that author is familiar with Islamic culture, nor do I pretend to be an expert, but I do know how oppressive that religion can be for women in various ways. In the manner of dress, they are typically covered up from head to toe, often in strict culture having only their eyes visible. The rationale behind this is because women’s bodies elicit lust and men simply can’t control themselves. Islam teaches that it’s the woman’s fault that men lust and that she must cover up her entire body. The Bible on the other hand teaches us to deny OURSELVES, crucify OUR FLESH and put to death the lusts of OUR SOUL. Herein lies my problem with Christians who teach that it’s not the man’s fault when he lusts after a woman. I wasn’t there, but from what I read, Bathsheba was only taking a bath! I’m not sure how it was her fault that David lusted after her. We must remember what Jesus said, “if anyone even looks at a woman with lust, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). If we say that it’s exclusively the woman’s fault that a man looks and then lusts after her, how then is that any different than Islam? If we suggest that women should only be covered in large baggy garments, how is that releasing freedom to the daughters of God?
I share this because the freedom that we have in Jesus Christ is not bound in legalism and oppression that the world offers. There is HOPE in Jesus that liberates us from sin and separates us into righteous living (right standing with Him). He calls us out from serving our flesh and into finding our beauty in who He has created us to be. This freedom doesn’t permit us to make others stumble. Rather, our modesty becomes worship to the one true living God.
*If you’d like to encourage someone with this blog, share it! If you’d like to comment on this, I’d love to hear from you. :)
I’m working on expanding this into a short book and would love your feedback! (Jan 2014)
Today, the house worker assigned to the guesthouse in Kenya where we are staying right now came over. Honestly he is more like family as he’s worked in the compound where my in-laws have lived for about 20 years. His name is Paul and he’s one of my most favorite people ever. He comes over to hand wash dishes (because there is no dishwasher) and take care of things inside of the house. There is a fireplace here and while I know some friends are sweating in the August temps in the USA, I’m freezing here in Kenya. We’ve been asked by the workers on the compound why we haven’t lit a fire yet as there is a lot of firewood outside of the house and we’ve never had a good response. We’ve been back and forth to so many medical appointments and running around that when we come home at night, we just throw on more layers and heat up hot water bottles. Last night however, we finally lit a fire! I sat near it and finished an ongoing project on my computer and then we watched a movie.
This morning when Paul came over, he was very happy to see that we had used the fireplace last night! Stephen thanked him for putting the wood in there and that we had really enjoyed it. A huge smile came across his face and a joyful laugh came forth. I’m not exaggerating when I say that Paul has the best smile and is one of the most joyful people I’ve ever met. I’m always trying to learn Swahili from him and make jokes to get him to smile. Even though he’s known Stephen for years, we joke that I’m now Paul’s favorite. All that to say once Stephen said that “Bailey really appreciated having a fire”, the man was on a mission! He cleaned out the ashes and quickly brought in more firewood.
I entered the room right as I saw him carrying a “Cheez-It” box. I thought what on earth is Paul doing with a Cheez-It box and where did it come from anyways?! I’m not going to lie, it also kind of made me hungry. I watched him as he walked over to the fireplace and began to rip the box apart. “Ah for kindling!”, I said as I realized what was going on.
Stephen and I then headed out the door in search of reliable internet. We again emphasized our gratefulness for Paul taking care of the fireplace and how much we were looking forward to another fire on this cold day. As we headed down the driveway in a car, we saw the man coming to repair the electricity in the house (which is a story for another day). Stephen went back inside with the electrician and as he did, the mechanic came to get the car which got hit two nights ago (again another story for another day). So that ended our plans to go find internet. Back inside the house I went and began to work on my laptop as Stephen discussed with these men. Shortly after sitting inside I began to hear “popping” noises. Stephen started laughing from the other room and called out to me, “Paul lit a fire for you!”. Oh my! He took my gratefulness to another level and lit a fire for me during the daytime! Good thing as we were now stranded at the house.
This made me think of having a grateful attitude to the Lord. He delights in us being thankful and praising Him. He is always moved on our behalf and wants to bring us good gifts. One word of thankfulness from our lips causes our hearts to receive more of His goodness. He is always pouring out love on us, but I’ve found that a thankful heart positions us to become more aware of His goodness. I challenge you today to thank Him for something He’s done. It could be something so small, but find something to be thankful for. Tell Him that you love Him and that you’re thankful you’re a child of God. Then wait for His reply. It might just be that your own Cheez-It box appears from no where and that your heart gets lit up with more thankfulness for Him ;-) …but really, I’m craving those tiny cheese crackers now!
Since my entry above, a VERY thoughtful missionary here in Kenya read my blog and brought me these
In the backyard of my in-law’s house in Kenya is a huge avocado tree.
It produces avocados that average about 2 pounds each.
This varies largely in comparison to the tiny avocados that Stephen buys at Whole Foods in the States :)
My in-laws didn’t plant this tree, the former owners did. Whenever they moved into the house and heard there was an avocado tree, they were a bit amazed as the tree was so little and didn’t produce any fruit.
My father-in-law asked a local gardener how to get the tree to produce fruit.
He was told to beat the tree with a bat or a stick.
I can only imagine what the neighbors must’ve thought when he went out to beat up the tree.
Shortly after the “beating”, the tree began to blossom for the first time. That was when they learned that these trees must be shocked in order to produce fruit.
This made me think about my walk with God.
I’m sure you’ve heard it said that praying for patience inevitably produces more opportunities for…patience right? Such as a traffic jam (which in Africa can be painfully long).
Well in my experience, there seems to be a place where when we go through trials and test that we have a chance to grow in the fruit of the spirit.
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against sun there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.”-Galatians 5:22-26
When you go into Christian bookstores and see jewelry and various other Christian items that have the fruit of the Spirit listed on there, the fruit appear simply and applicable to every believer’s life right?
There are even paintings of beautiful fruit baskets and cornucopia of fruit with Galatians 5 written on them.
I haven’t however seen huge warning signs or fine print attached to such beautiful gifts and decor that tell of what it took to produce that fruit.
Yet, that’s probably what should be written ;)
Let’s see long-suffering…what on earth does that mean?
What types of things would we walk through to produce that fruit in us? ::WHACK::
Kindness? What about that obnoxious neighbor who is completely disrespectful of anyone else but themselves? ::WHACK:: just a chance to grow in kindness.
I definitely think the picture of the avocado tree is a picture of us growing in the fruit of the Spirit.
I don’t mean to say that God beats us and challenges us in order for us to grow in fruit. But Jesus did say that in the life we would have trials and tribulations.
He never said life wouldn’t quit throwing punches at us simply because we are Christians, but we are promised that we are more than conquerors through Him.
So when life takes it’s “whacks” at you, ask Christ for endurance that you would produce fruit of the Spirit and fruit that remains.
The avocado tree in Kenya is now over two stories tall and produces several hundred avocados each year.
What fruit will the trials you’re going through now produce in the years to come?
And He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has put in His own authority. But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” Acts 1:7,8
Jesus’ last words in red to His disciples were these great words. While He has already died at Calvary, He hadn’t yet ascended to the Father. He actually spent 40 days on the Earth after resurrection which is astounding to me in itself. As He is leaving, He comforts His disciples with these words. He is sending the Holy Spirit in place of Himself. He states that they will receive POWER to be His witnesses to the ends of the Earth.
So much can be shared on this verse and the content surrounding it. I just wanted to close the words in red this month by challenging us to receive the power of Holy Spirit to be Jesus’ witnesses in the earth. Regardless of where we are and what we are called to do, we need the power of Holy Spirit to live rightly, to seek Jesus fully and to tell others of His great love.
In this day, they were going to be the first to be filled with Holy Spirit and go out with the testimony of Jesus Christ crucified and raised from the dead. It was important that their old selves “died” so to speak and were empowered with boldness to proclaim this truth. Many would die for their faith, but did so at the gain of many coming to know Christ. You and I are reading this today because these disciples went and shared the truth of the gospel.
In one moment we see Peter who had been full of shame and had weeks earlier rejected Christ become full of boldness and proclaim the gospel and thousands get saved! We see John who went to the foot of the cross later on become the revelator who beheld Jesus in a way no one has. It’s amazing how these men and women went from followers to bold witnesses simply by receiving Holy Spirit. They yielded themselves to Him and obeyed the words in red.
Likewise for us to become witnesses for Him, we must receive the Holy Spirit. We can’t depend on our own ability to walk out Jesus’ commands and testimony of the gospel. We must lean upon a power that is higher than ours. Holy Spirit who knows and understands the ways of God and the Son. The One who leads us and guides us in all truth. The only way we can walk in total truth and share this to the ends of the earth is abiding with the words in red and receiving the greatest gift that could be given to us. Jesus wants to abide with you and I forever. Not just in eternity, but in the here and now while we are on this earth. This world needs to hear His truth and the dark areas need His light.
Will you receive power from the Holy Spirit? Will you share the words in red with the world?
Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” John 20:29
Today I had the opportunity to speak to some Kenyan youth. Their service was a panel discussion where they could ask leaders questions. I was asked at the beginning of service to close the end. I was blown away by the questions these young people asked. They asked such involved things that it was decided to continue the panel next week.
As I listened to their thoughts and questions, I formatted thoughts to close with. I thought of this verse in that we are those in the later part of the verse. We believe in Jesus even though we do not see Him. When you consider all of those who have given their lives to Jesus since His resurrection against those who physically walked with Him on the earth, it’s obvious more have believed without seeing than who believed by seeing.
I know I often want to be like Thomas, whom Jesus is addressing here. He wanted to be absolutely sure that this was truly Jesus. While I’d like to physically be with Him to know He is real, I’ve yet to have that privilege;) . Yet I have His word, His saving grace, and the testimony of His life, death and resurrection.
I have the choice to either believe or not believe the words in red. There will be moments of questions and not understanding all of the bible. Many times I’ve asked questions that the youth asked today. Often I’ve wondered why did God do this or why did God say that. While I may not always understand, I keep seeking Him. I keep taking steps towards Him. Jesus didn’t discourage Thomas’ unbelief or questions. Instead He met Thomas in the midst of uncertainty and proved who He was.
Likewise blessed are we when we believe even if we don’t see. Even if we don’t understand everything there is to know about Jesus, but we choose to believe, we are blessed. Even if we question things at times, it’s ok as long as we seek Him, His truth and His word and still believe. Jesus affirmed Thomas and drew near to his questioning heart. How much more will He draw near to is whom, “have not seen yet believed”?
“It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out.” Proverbs 25:2
